Something To Think and Ponder

Was driving in the care and this question pops up....

Soulmate v.s Passion which is more important?

Cabaran bersuami lelaki muda....


Im gonna come back with this to topics....

About my passion n my ex darling husband who need attention like a baby... How did i manage to give all and satisfaction granted to me as well.... Life is bitch actually but we can be the angel or the saint to save our life accordingly....

Cya later friends...
Thanks me n my ex darling husband

Dear....

I know how hard I tried to hide it from you but you, you know it very well when I feel sad or even I needed someone to make me feel good to ease the pain. Your senses always right and your mind seems to connect very well tho I did not tell you.

Why people get it wrong from you, im not sure… You are so straight forward and very clearly lay out your opinion and your style of friendship… know some people cant take your straightforwardness, your sharp mind and thinking method… Perhaps they are seeking for more than just an advice…

Oh well… a short message is enough to make you call to find out how is the current situation and sort of advice that you can give and on top of that the way you can make me laugh and forget the worries.

You know we can find that in only one of many and many there…only one… How you are able to attract people, making crowds curious about what we are talking because with your presence the sadness can turn out to laughter and nothing can make situation looks duller than ever…

Many loves to be around you but you choose to the many up to what can they achieve from you. You take them as they are and put them in your so called character mapping zone in your brain and turn them out to be who and who. Which character and person match the profile comfortably…

You know I cant tell more than I can tell you because well all of us have their darkest part to save and now you know that make you understand the whole me and the true me. But then again I was shocked you do understand well and again give a very good advice and im impressed…

Dear…

After the contradiction, the rejection and the reflection at the end, the meeting was good after all and was a sweet one… it went well and now I know you and you know me… I still can be your friend and im still your friend…

Yes I do take the challenge may the meeting didn’t turn out well it may be our first and last met. But now if I have a chance surely I will come and drop by and share the fun again to sit down and share the story and the laughter.

The joke over teh tarik was fun the nasi lemak was good (was it??) hahhahaha… what else… lots of thing achieve in a good manner and yes we have loads of fun…

Well do drop by next time should you have time to pay me a visit eh…

Dear…

I wish I don’t have to be here to say anything about you and comments anything. You were nice, very nice amongst all my friends. I really do mean it.

We share lots of things with loads of fun in our way. Only the smile can tell all one to another…

Im not to sure how I was in that situation where I have to make sure everyone are fit and comfortable with me around with you.

For those who is uncomfortable to have me with you around I can’t help it because what I have in me for you and her was pure and honest. As much as I can say here everything excels well as we predict.

You know where you’re heading and it will succeed if you know it very well. I know you will and will always will if you keep your mind conscious…

“Change is the only constant in life” was what I read in one of your blog” take that straight to my mind and think… this words might change me if I want to do it. “do you have courage to change?” was next lingering in my thoughts. “If you want to master change, make a small change this week that will affect next”

Well it does work excellently… After one occasion of victory to overcome a misery, you took my hand and said “see it take you less than fifteen minutes and it was all over”.

I was crying infact at that very moment and when I realize a hand patting my head, I feel I have hope for tomorrow and I shouldn’t be crying for the lost soul who choose to be with another.

You gave me courage and yes the constant change has already make me a whole new person with confidence and lots of smiles..

Being a friend who had offer a lot of things before and was never accomplished because I wasn’t ready. Now I am fully ready to make sure my aim, goals and dreams will be achieve sooner than I can think off.

Dear all…

I know with clear mind and consciously will bear in mind the reason we are here today is to accommodate each other, to comfort each other to make one another feels needed as friends…

People might think we are close for some reasons but we do know well for what we are. I am sure that what we have achieve and accomplished today will be a treasure for me for next step of life… every words spell, every phrase dictate, every notes taken and every action shown was pure intention to have one another happy…

I am glad to have you here with me, near me, and close to me… May what people think what we are as they want, I hope we can still hold what we have yesterday, today and tomorrow… I will always be here and hoping I can still come to you for advice, laughter and share some moments together…

Thank you dear…..

120905

12.38am

DOA BUAT MAMA

Mama,

Dengan doamu aku bahagia, dengan doamu aku berjaya, dengan doamu juga aku menanggis, dengan tangisanmu aku merana dengan ratapmu aku teruja…

Mama,

Tiap detik berlalu aku amat merindu belaian tanganmu, aku amat mendamba kan ucapan kasihmu, amat ingin berada didakapan mu…

Mama aku tahu biar berjuta bintang ku taburkan kepangkuanmu masih belum dapat membalas jasamu. Biar bertahun bulan bersinar belum tentu mengembirakan hatimu, biar berkarung wang dan harta belum dapat membeli hatimu…

Tapi ma, biar berkali kusujud padamu belum tentu kau dapat menjelaskan padaku apa yang terbuku dihatimu…

Aku bersyukur ma dengan doamu aku berjaya, dengan doamu aku bahagia, dengan doamu aku tenang mengharungi hidup yang serba kekurangan tapi aku bersyukur ma dengan doamu itulah aku beroleh segalanya…

Mama,

Aku ingin tahu apa yang kau kesalkan terhadapku. Apa yang tidak lagi kupenuhi untukmu. Istana ku musnah kerana tidak memenuhi kehendakmu? Aku tidak boleh melalui kehidupan tanpa restumu? Tapi kenapa ma? Belum lagi aku mahu mengadu ketidakcukupanku padamu. Kerana aku tidak mahu menyusahkan mu.

Aku cuma ingin membahagiakan mu. Aku cuma ingin berkongsi senyummu, tawa mu pada sisa-sisa kehidupan ini.

Beri aku sedikit panduan apa yang mama inginkan dariku. Puas aku memujuk mu ma, tapi aku tidak jumpa jawapan itu. Mengapa ma? Apa salahku?

Tapi ma, walau begitu tidak pernah aku melupakan sujud kehadrat allah dan memanjatkan doa buatmu agar mama tetap gembira, agar mama tetap bahagia, agar mama terus sihat meneruskan kehidupan, agar mama dipelihara kesejahteraan dan syukur aku nama mama masih boleh kusebut dan kujenguk maupun kupeluk…

Tapi walau dingin pelukan mu hati ku tetap merasakan hangatnya kasihmu mama. Biar panas airmata yang mengalir ini mengingati apa yang terjadi dulu tetapi aku tidak menyimpannya dihatiku.

Lepaskan mama, usahlah mama mengingati kisah lalu. Mama tetap cinta hatiku, mama masih beraja dihatiku dan amat kudambakan setiap waktu.

Aku masih ingin mendakapmu, mencium kakimu, masih ingin merasakan masakanmu. Tapi mama mengapa memalingkan muka terhadapku. Apa salahku ma? Katakanlah biar aku tahu…

Jangan biarkan aku menanggis lagi ma, aku ingin bahagia. Aku ingin mendidik amanah allah ini dengan caraku. Berikan aku peluang ma.

Aku ingin dikasihi, dicintai penciptaku setiap waktu. Mama masih sentiasa dihatiku. Panggillah aku dengan nama kasih dan sayang mama. Aku rindu belaianmu… Amat rindu ma….

Cinta kasihmu tidak dapat dibeli oleh beribu lelaki yang cuba meraih kasihku ma. Tak mungkin… aku cuma ingin kasihmu, sayangmu, belaianmu ma, aku rindu ma, amat rindu padamu…

2.26am

11 Sept 05

I was devastated on Friday but now I hope Mama you can feel better, ive given the best to you and I will try deliver the best to my kids unconditionally. I will try my very best to make everyone happy to have me around…. I love you mama, no matter how much ive hurt I will still love you unconditionally… Ill repay what ever I can to make you smile and happy to have me in your life…

Honesty

Where does honesty lies? In opposite sex, yourself or myself or they? Why does honesty important to us? To prove that we are not lying? Why do we lie? Many people talk about honesty and lies everyday but this is one thing happen every now and then.

How I can laugh arrogantly in front of friends saying I am happy but the fact is that what I said was just to hide the cruelty of the black truth that I am crying or even grieving. Do we know that we laugh but all around us are laughing with the world to us if we are not honest to ourself? Simple e.g. Point your finger to someone and accused her “hey your lying to me”. Look at the rest of your finger, where does it pointing? Yourself or others?

I use to deny myself on that. And I learn that method to point at my weaknesses. I learn it my way so that I don’t pinpoint. Always admitting it was my mistakes than accusing others. Even though it was not my fault it will make me thing at least.

If I don’t allow it happen would it happen. Losers always said “it was not my mistakes”, but winners will say “I make it happen, it was my mistakes” and so he/ she will rectify the problem accordingly.

When I use to be a giver, I never thought I would some day ask from anyone in form of help, service, advice, money or anything. I love to shower people with love, with my warmness, listen, laugh, talk, or perhaps just be there if I cant help. I know I cant do much while I cant but ill be happy if they just can release whats inside their mind.

I can always except anyone with their beauty and whoever they are without making any fuss but sometime individual make their own preference.

Always make me torn to have to choose whom I like to be. But yet it never stop me from having friends. Backstabbing? Its your choice friends. As much as honesty can bring me an enemy I take it as a gift too.

Truly I cant be happy while I have to lie to myself to make people comfortable with me and keep what ever secret you want me to share but for the sake of sincerity my honestly lies in me. Rotten inside but will never make all you seen the real situation.

I want to live in real world and I want to tell you lying is never my breed and bread.

But to be your dear friend I will have to save it deep in my heart. Ill answer god why I’d lie. Dear god forgive me for the sin I’ve done but all for good reason.

Dear friend if you even found out the truth forgive me I had to keep it due to your goodwill and everyone too. I do not use it purposely. I love you and will always do.

Love

“I love you”, he told her. “I’ve loved you for ages. I can’t say since the day we met because that day I just lusted after you. But then I loved you”
She smiled.
“And I’ll keep on loving you. No matter what…”
“Will you?”
“Success means nothing unless you’ve got someone to share it with”
“You think?”
“Of course,” he said passionately. “It’s one of thing I have in mind always. The fact people really do prize happiness and love ahead of everything else”
“Ahead of Mercedez Benz Kompressor? She named his favourite car.
“Miles ahead”.
“Ahead of around the world holiday?” He’d always wanted to do that.
“Absolutely”
“Ahead of … “
“Ahead of everything,” he told her firmly.
She looked into his eyes, an even deeper blue than the sea outside, and then she touched him gently on the side of the cheek.
“Marry me,” he said

How many of us thought of the conversation above would come real. And how many of us would think before saying “I love you and marry me sweetheart”.

Sad, but phenomenon now is to be in love and get married because they want to make it real. As if they don’t think of the commitment and responsibilities will take place. And a few years later marriage become shattered and divorce take place. Why because they don’t understand the marriage reason in the first place.

Marrying because of love, to confirm it you are mine and im yours, without weighing what marriage could bring today, tomorrow and future obstacles and consequences. Marrying just because to secure some circumstances for individual reason, perhaps not to commit to sin and etc.

Many people married for wrong reasons. They marry too young without even knowing what should they expect while in the marriage. Many don’t marry second wife or second time for reason that they wont take the commitment.

The responsibilities are far more expensive than the relationship itself. And for those who think with emotions will end up a marriage soon before they even think the step will lead to another disaster.

Perhaps some would say before marrying “who would be responsible if we commit into sin?”. “Who would help single mothers if we don’t”, who is this and who is that …”

But the fact is, does one take a very good reason why they should fall in love and get married. Religion don’t allow living together without marrying but it does happen nowadays. Why? Do we know real reason why they take that step? Do we know why they are comfortable without being married?

Only you yourself can answer that question. One should ask her/ himself why should one get involve and later get married? Question shouldn’t be ask to another but yourself!

Take a time to think about it, reflect it to you and be objective about it…

Poor soul who has been married but feel stuck and cant go out due to so many reasons tagging them in the marriage especially children, families and last but not least because they do really love each other but has lost the sparks. Why?

Tomorow is Better than today!!!!

True friend call me today "hey do you need a lift i can send you home, just call me anytime". I was in a bus crying infact....

Was so hurt, in pain and vain............

Rome called me many times to make sure im ok......

Tomorow is my day...

Beautiful, attractive, sexier, wittier and more lovable...

Come and get me if you dare..............

PAIR

Do we play to win in life?

Life is like a stage and we are the actor and actress. The beautiful princess, the prince charming. The sad and joy, the love and hatred, beauty and the beast. All came in pair. Does anyone of us aware that day needs night, white need black, when theres heaven theres hell too...

Do we ever ask whether why we are paired with our partner now? Do we asked why some of us shared the partner? Do we ask why Khadijah proposing Muhamad. Do we know why Muhammad marry many single mothers???

Suddenly all this pop my mind when i was actually wanting to shut off my pc and end my day yesterday...

This morning while listening to TRAX.FM the deejay having this topic on air "CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT MAN FOR 5 DAYS".

Many of the callers are woman who agrees to not having them for 5 straight days to have the air free of smokes fm their ciggy, house free of dirty clothes everywhere, no farting openly, and etc...

I was just smiling while my day starts with a bad one hahahha because of the rain my kids are left out by the school bus and i had to drive half awake in the bad jam. And that topic really make me fullly wake up.

To think about it for a second it could be nice not to have them for 5 days yeah 5 days aint that bad. And perhaps everyone have their reason for not having them...

Give me your input dear friend. What do you think???