It has been a long time since i last update.  No i have not lost my passion to write, it just because i have not been swimming into my deep thoughts.

I have focused on my children, my life and the progress has been taking in place.  I am just confused about myself.  About certain things turns out but i had never have a chance to think it over.

I just passed it out n carry on on life.  The colourful paint i draw had taken place just the way i wanted but i am just lost in me.  In search of my soul i found my creator but yet i am still had the emptiness.

Had not someone love me dearly?  Yes but did i love just the way he is?  I dont know.  I have not thought about it.  Why?  Because i dont know.  I have HIM and i will care less about him who have shown me his love, his passion, his feelings.

To me it is not as enough as i wanted...  Its  a strange feeling because my focus is more on HIM.  I have not find the lights just as yet.  Or have i allow him to ... no, no i think i was just feeling insecure and think he is not serious enough.

Till then it stays just the way it is now.

Drive my passion, it will lead to desire, purely it come from the soul.

24 June 15
1.23am

Loner

Some people ask me whether am i not lonely?  After kids turns to be young lady, college student and the babies is now grown up teens...

I do but there's plenty of ways how to be optimist all the time.  Making myself bz with work, meeting old friends, make new acquaintance.  Most importantly making use of all the source HE gave me in many form.

Some times I was hit by the emotion but lonely?  No I can't find those when I hardly have enough time to think of myself.  Occupying almost all the time does give me wonderful feelings being a loner.

You want time to be with me just ask,  you need company for tea or coffee?  I am on! Juggling my time at my best?  That's my forte... I even have time to being thankful and blessed to forgive those who wrong me and say  my prayer before I enter my dreams.

Life should be used at best!

#areyoulonesometonight:)

And The Journey Goes On....

Despite the hiccups, the mishap, the hurdles plenty of beautiful picture was planted along the way of hideous.

I am learning more and more life values, colours, valueable experience by mixing around with community, corporates, elite and my take is all of us has our own picture and story unfold.

The untold was far more tricky and i choose not to meddle with it in between.  Having met the elite people unfold some mystery that told so many beauty.

Now im looking forward to let HIM arrange what is already written for me.  Yes im ready to embark new chapter in life.

Those with Iman, love his own brotherhood, his nation would be the perfect match but as we all know nobody is perfect and the written will then be unfold once i found the knot.

If he comes sooner he will then be mine or else anybody who has that criteria will have an opportunity to know me and love me.

ALLAH HAFIZ.  May he grant me the chance to be in Mekah this year with my mother.

Ins Shaa Allah

Amalan sebelum tidur

Ulangan dan peringatan di mlm mulia. EMPAT HAL SEBELUM TIDUR

Rasulullah berpesan kepada siti Aisyah ra.

“ Ya, Aisyah! Jangan engkau tidur sebelum melakukan empat perkara yaitu :

1. Sebelum khatam al-Quran
2. Sebelum menjadikan para nabi bersyafaat untukmu di hari kiamat
3. Sebelum para muslimin meridhai engkau
4. Sebelum engkau melaksanakan haji dan umrah “

Bertanya siti Aisyah :
“Ya Rasulullah ! bagaimana aku dapat melaksanakan empat perkara seketika? “

Rasul tersenyum dan bersabda :

1. “Jika engkau akan tidur , membacalah surat al –Ikhlas tiga kali
Seakan-akan engkau telah meng-khatamkan Al-Quran

” Bismillaahirrohmaan irrohiim,
‘Qulhuallaahu ahad’ Allaahushshamad’ lam yalid walam yuulad’ walam yakul lahuu kufuwan ahad’ ( 3x ) “

2. "Membacalah shalawat untukku dan untuk para nabi sebelum aku" maka kami semua akan memberimu syafaat di hari kiamat “

“ Bismillaahirrahmaan irrahiim, Allaahumma shallii ‘alaa Muhammad wa’alaa aalii Muhammad ( 3x ) “

3. “Beristighfarlah” untuk para mukminin maka mereka akan meridhai engkau

“ Astaghfirullaahal adziim aladzii laa ilaaha illaa huwal hayyul qoyyuum wa atuubu ilaih ( 3x )

4. Dan perbanyaklah “bertasbih, bertahmid , bertahlil dan bertakbir” maka seakan-akan engkau telah melaksanakan ibadah haji dan umrah

“ Bismillaahirrahmaan irrahiim, Subhanallaahi Walhamdulillaahi walaailaaha illallaahu allaahu akbar ( 3x )

Sampaikanlah kepada orang lain,
maka ini akan menjadi Shadaqah Jariah pada setiap orang yang anda kirimkan pesan ini, dan apabila kemudian dia mengamalkannya, maka kamu juga akan ikut mendapat pahalanya sampai hari kiamat.... آمِيّنْ..

Paint ME colour

Paint me colourful not just with your colours but all the colours that you can mix and matched.  Dont change my colour today coz it may spoil the mood of the owner.

Why just you leave it be.  You come to me becos u like me and not becoz i make u to like me.

When the journey goes on

When everything become monotonous n less exciting I began to search for something different again.  Is it true I am being hard headed refusing to listen.  I hate people to control me. I hate people nagging me what to do...

Yes today not just today 1thefool tried talking through to me in his hardway, n now Dani is telling me to reformat everything from my FB account to the rest of my life concentrating in focusing to my wbusiness.  I was listening but i wasnt enjoying.

Moulding me would be good?  Or perhaps he was being fair enough  teaching me n being me I only willing to listen to the fun part.  Damn how do i get this straight

Learning, Digesting and Reflecting

I was experimenting a different lane when someone from Facebook approach me into a relationship and wanted to make me up into  what i had been ignoring.

Man come and go as they wanted.  Particularly i was only looking into what my children needs and not mine at all.  Now after having my own time talking to HIM, he had shown me some path, some ways, some reasoning why i should be accepting a person into my life.

Yes, I have been with Wonderful for so long but too long to made me thinking is he really into my life or i was just thinking abt it alone. Since i ever ask in my prayer HE send me few men.  Not single men but marrieds...

I am not sure why but i am giving a way.  Why?  I am sure HE has reason why he sent me this 3 guys ir rn my life for a purpose.  Let them show me or prove me that they were sent by HIM for a good reason.

I have been rejecting one for coming and ask me things bluntly.  I wanted to smile, laugh at it but i understand everyone has their own uniqueness.

And someone who has been wooing for long time has a chance to date me for Iftar yesterday.  It was sweet, romantic place for a right moment.  But again what was he wanted from me.  Silentness enveloping the evening perhaps he was hoping for me to understand it all.  Perhaps i do and i am just ignoring.  He can be so gentle, so romantic, so everything that i want but he is still a married man.  Although i wanted to have everything under the moon and the stars from him but i am yet to open up my mouth coz he is a married man. Even i know he is capable but i dnt think he wants it becos what he wants is not what i want.

And the other one thinks I was quiet becos i already have someone.  True i have Wonderful in my heart, but im not sure he wanted me to b his Princess.  In my situation i am needing someone to lift up my burden in many ways.  But i cant find a way how to say it out. Instead i listen to people what to say.


Dear blog, i wanted to say more but let me have some digestion to the situation and pen it down as and when.  Let me judge my situation and let me pour out soon.

I love you ALLAH simple bcos u hear me....

1228am