Lets being passionate again

My emotions is edgy these days.  I wasn't able to handle feelings to specifically being loved by a  man. Undeniably I was being lonely at times especially having teens kids who find time on their own are more precious than finding time to be with me.

Besides  serving my customers, finding new acquaintances and new business partner, I cant lie that I am lonely.  My soul is searching for something.  I prayed for someone to come and god given me the chance but unfortunately again i was tested.

Sigh.... i wanted someone but not owned by somebody.  I wanted loved but not shared by someone else.  I have to ask again n again but i failed to know the reason.  I leave it on.

I challenged my fear and meet him one day.  I can tell that if i want the relationship i can make it happen but then just to make me feel satisfied digging some infos was im good at.  I was stuck on the verge again.  To accept or not to accept.

I was enjoying everything until i know the truth.  Heated arguments follows.  And my flaws emerged.  I cant just pretend being someone pretty n beautiful but yet to be bold to know the truth. Hate to admit yes i do like him, wanted him very much.  Oh yeah i do, but....

God please take some of my worries away and please grant me the wish i wanted.  Let me be loved, let me be happy, let me be cuddled, let me be safe in the hands of a man called lover.  With the right path and ways of course with your blessings.

Yes i want it. Prove me im wrong this time.