Letting Go

Im going to let go some of the feelings for him.
I know i like him very much... i developed the love slowly within my passion, within the years knowing, within the unwanted feelings towards men.
i have pushed all the feelings and emotion far away. Although i am longing for being loved, pampered and cared for...
All for the reasons that i dont want to be hurt again. They wanted to love but they hate to commit, they wanted to care but they avoid to take responsible. For all that matters i take it they are not serious.
When i take someone hands to be hold, lips to be kissed, body to be embraced, i took it seriously with all my heart.
All i have is only pain when i know im able to love, to give, to affect but i cant expect anything in return and i let it go, far far away in the sky, across the border, the mountains, the clouds...
Take me away with you, blow the kiss all over and let them feel the love im blowing to all those who earn my affection...
I shall love myself more than anyone else...

Sometimes Word Just Aint Enough

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMwZcuHbch0

Secured Moment

I was called for the second interview for a challenging love scene. hahahaha NO it was not... it was more of conversation, communication and lots of action which desire no words... It was just felt and so many question and answers gathers.

I was happy, sad, angry and it was mixed upon through out the whole situation. I hand the write ups... I study the action, the reason, the story, analyse and i know its not going to be any sooner or later it is just about going with a flow.

The journey was beautiful with greens, scenery, discovery, long walks, deep thinking, relaxing mind and soul. Uncomparable with colourful Vietnam nor Medan. Its a soothing one, no rush, stress. Lots of smile painted... Yeah the colour was beautiful.

My heart was lighter this time after i came back. Yes i know i am hoping but nothing much bcos i know its not going to be a bed of roses anyway and with that i came home feeling so much enlighten.

Now my aim is to correct what have i not given myself so far. A chance, love, desire and destiny...I will try...

Dear god help me through. Although im wrong please walk with me thru ....