Friday, January 27, 2006

NO PAIN NO GAIN!!!



Penna: Farmie
Released: 26th Jan 06
Mood: Happy to be beautiful at heart

Had a chance to meet T and adi in Nailis after so long. First topic when she mention about her birthday I ask her about her wedding plan that suppose to be this year after her birthday.
According to her after voicing out to Dato sometime 6 months ago no action was made from him nor to make it official. She is still in dilemma and said perhaps she would be like that forever. I reminded her about getting his son a company too.
She changed the topic. It was about Botox, Vitamin C and Collagen. Something about keeping a woman beautiful, uplifted, wrinkle free and look always young. Various ideas and views was voice out. Adi a beautiful looking gal was more interesting in injecting the cellulite out. According to T, it can be done now without liposuction. A contact of hers who has a network to a doctor in Singapore who came regularly to KL. Whom always get in touch with artists and actress to get it done.
Interesting part is where being pretty and beautiful you have to face a pain. Not to mention spending money and effort in getting those things right in the first place. First thing I asked was implications, side effects and whether it stays in the long run.
Erra Fazira, Siti Nurhaliza, Umie Aida, Ifa Raziah and few more names were discussed how they maintained and sustain the beauty without much ado on the looks while Adi saw some of them in Mekah, without makeup they still look radiant and fresh.
Many believe Vitamins intake do take part in sustaining the beauty in the body besides 8 glass of waters for detoxifying purpose and the healthy intake of vegetables in daily meals. I had a conversation with my colleagues over lunch of how detoxifying can be done daily. Its only takes a guts and challenge for one to make it happen. Its like 1, 2, 3 steps followed by A, B, C and reversible. One meat a day for day one with vege, 2nd day with soup without meat and 3rd day just vege without carbo. Phew that was tough for those who cant live without rice right? Next step A raw vege for meals, B was 8 glass a day and followed by C that is the 2 glass of fresh juice daily. How’s that sound to you.
To remain beautiful for woman has got a lot to cost especially in daily life. Besides taking healthy food, exercising and maintaining good looks is real pain. But without that we wont gain anything like 36, 28, 37. What a number eh. Besides that I believe smile plays a good role to whereby the fine wrinkle that cause by it would make everyone look at you will surely feel warm and fresh. And last but not least the innerself or soul must always be freed from selfishness, greediness or evilness. Well its hard but with kindness everything seems to be easy to achieve. Insyaallah.
Back to my being beautiful topic. Actually it was not just a talking. I told T about Botox injection which was actually made from big cord in the intestine of a pig which means is "haram" for us Muslim. Few minutes later her phone rang. Mama Rosa on the line she told us. By this time Ayu my friend joined me from her workplace. I took the opportunity to meet T and Adi as well as her knowing that I have limited time nowadays. Well friendship is always good when it comes to networking and new things comes by.
T told us according to Mama, of all the injection to one female body nose injection was the most painful event. So we were alerted. Yeah imagine having our nose punch will surely making tears dropping. Erghhh pain yeah..
By the third time Mama called her she asked me "Farm follow me for a while"
"Where to?" I said. "Bukit Bintang" she replied. I was hesitating, my time there with them was already taken while I should be preparing dinner for my kids. Knowing whats in my head she added "pack nasi lemak from here and send it home, then come with me". "I’ll come with you with the children together. But then why are we going there for?" needing to know the reason of her taking me. "I want to do it" she said.
My eyebrows meet each other. "You what?" I answered in surprise. "10 minutes only" she add.
5 minutes later we left and kids are picked and she was sent to Mama and I took my kids for dinner while waiting for her. Her 10 minutes become almost an hour when she call to tell me she is done. I drove her Beemer and saw her outside covering her nose with tissue. "Don’t tell me she bleeds" I told myself.
As she entered I asked her "How was it?"
"Farm… sakit gilaaaaaaaa….."
I laughed when she spit that out. No pain no gain… No beauty without pain she added.
I keep on laughing at her and at last "let me see", I demanded.
Her nose was so red and glistening from the pain effect but walauwehhh.. her nose did really looks perfect and pretty in place.
My god, how could one injection make the different. But she keep on mumbling that it was bloody painful and she did cry. According to Mama if she is pinching on her skin, it could easily tear off. I continue laughing and smiling… woman will always stay beautiful no matter how it cost them. Me?? Would I do that? Piercing my nose is already enough for me and well im not going to try that. She said "its only RM190 farm… "
Yeah perhaps even free I will think many times… I can still feel the pain of my nose pierced 3 months ago. And Ayu was asking why didn’t I put it on. I said since I had that my sinus always keep on coming and it has cause allergies to my nose and sometime had infection. I’ve taken it out but just now I’ve put it on again. Hhahahaa…
Not easy being a woman, and not easy being beautiful. Maintaining all of it cause so much. I remain the beauty in maintaining my girls better. Till then folks, have a nice day and stay smiling, as the smile brought sunshine in someone thoughts.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Discovery

Discovery!!!

Penna: Farmie
Released: 230106 (11.59pm)
Mood: Evil xXXXx

What a discovery of a day today!!
When im about to end my day in the office I receive a call from unknown number. Not knowing who is on the other line, I answer the call as I always did, up to my best level. I was asked for a weird question.
“Lynn?”
Yes!! Who are you? Where are you calling from?
Im Dave, I just chatted with you a while ago, you gave me this number.
:-O Say what? I gave you this number. Hey who did you talk chat to just now? Whats ur id? Whats my id again u were saying?
Corporate lady aren’t you?
Corporate lady aye? Hey you got the wrong number.
Damn it. I slamed the phone down.
After few minutes the phone rang again. This time with 016 number. Same thing, I pick up and thinking it was another caller. Neh it was the same stupid caller thinking im the corporate lady on chat. I bang down the phone again and mumbling to myself, which bitch is trying to make me known outside my world.

Phone continuously rang with another number each time. This time im being crude, rigid and timid. I told the caller if that bitch are so bitchy needing a man desperately be it, talk to her or chat with her or tell her don’t use another person number and another person identity. He was shocked with my answer and I continued telling him, if her life is so fucked up and a man is so bloody important in her life for she need to grab any opportunities that comes along without even thinking for any consequences then be it. Poor foolish man has to listen to all the harsh word from me.
If she wants to be me, she has to learn how to be me. The person with 1001 colours. Too bad she knows a bit of me if it is not quarter or half. I couldn’t care much of what the purpose she is doing it. Perhaps scared of loosing or perhaps doing it to bring me down. Poor boyfriend who is not good enough to satisfying bitchy needs. Disgusting thoughts I have, but what the heck. Hey don’t be a coward, roll your balls right to confront me or take your guts out to challenge me. Come’on you are matured enough. You are just being coward in your own world!!!!
I have known long enough the tactic being in modern cyber life. You cant get it that way, you getting me this way and if you don’t this way, you would try other way. You got nothing better to do eh? Poor arse. Poor soul!!! I bet he doesn’t give her enough attention that making her out of way to do all this nonsense shit of lies. If one already and known in this shit, im sure she will be able to do this again and again like I used to hear from people around. Oh well do’uh, stupid is what stupid does. I put it off most of the time when I heard this but she herself confirmed being insecure of loosing something that not in her hand. Happy impersonating asshole!!!!

My conversation with Dr Harlina was good today. After recommending Dr Chelvi and come out with with necessary treatment she is ready to come out with a surgery letter.
Dr Harlina said come and do it at her place where she can take care of me and she will get her friend to carry out the surgery while she can observe and give me the anesthetic dose. Or do it in Darul Ehsan or Kelana Jaya where she can get her friend to do it and give the discount and the anesthetic is free from her which take away about 1k itself from the surgery cost.
Empathy not sympathy that’s what she is doing since I know her all along. It was not only her, there was few other friend which was always willing to offer without me asking. They know just when to take care. These are friends who has no barrier in life, whom just know where and when they should be there for you and not just when they are approach. Perhaps its how they was brought up, or how their mentality is. A person with professionalism, characteristic, mannerism who always welcome friends and take pride in performing daily life as normal human beings. Nothing to show off like having Aigner bag, Donna Karan clothes, Christian Dior parfums to make known who they are. They just have to carry themselves without having to show off the glittering luxurious things in hand. They just have to show the sparkle of their hearts away to just anyone needed. In the end she just have to say, if I ever needed you as friend you will be there for me farm? I almost breakdown. I don’t have anything to offer to anyone. I just have ear, shoulder and myself to do anything I could do best. I have no money to splash you with, I don’t have any materials to add into your life except a humble heart to hear you out. I have nothing… I was hurt badly today but they forgot, they have only making me so tough and hard. I take that challenge from them to make me tougher and yeah harder… Time to think and ponder again…
I like dot’s blog today about threesome… A courage to challenge to be in one room with two man and one woman for sex… hahahaha what an idea.. I guess everyone have fantasy. Don’t I have one? God knows what it was… time to think about fantasy has gone, its time to think about reality….
Only reality matters to me to bring out a person from my kids, to teach them humility, what life are all about and what life can offer if you know how, where, when, what, who, why? I just need another challenge each day to make you, him, her, they or even me a better person… Dare you challenging yourself??? Insyaallah god willing.
Days end very well when all my children end up helping me cooking for tomorrow lunch. I have four of them busy making themselves a grown up person to help me working on the dish. One with washing, the other with onions, one is frying and the other one is cleaning. Well I just hope by the time they have to go they know what just best for them. The Value of being a Woman, Female, Friend and Daughter. Till then I leave that in god hands… they are only temporary borrowed to me while they are still around…
Lunch with S goes on like normal. I almost cancelled it after a remarked from him. But hey what do I loose, its only lunch so not to listen to all the mushy stories actually. Neh im not ready for him, no not yet… im looking forward to someone challenging who would dare me to do plumbing, electrical, climbing or any adventurous thingy. The normalities are too routine… I need to rock something now…. Raunchy that’s what im feeling now. Shit too much of progesterone and estrogen I guess… Anyone to help releasing a bit? ;-))
Good nite folks…

Monday, January 23, 2006

The Black Me or The Evil Me....

Penna : Farmie
Released: 230106 (1837pm)
Mood: Evil


farmie: so u not interested in a person but more to lousy pics

farmie: well it takes one man balls to show his guts to be true

desperate: well

desperate: wht if ur not interested to see me again after seing me

desperate: lol

desperate: u have seen me right

farmie: well its actually depends on the reason of why u approaching a woman

farmie: a fren

farmie: a slut or a bitch

farmie: if frens its stays forever no mater how u look

farmie: a slut take u once to bed if ur lousy thats it

farmie: a bitch will talk back when she finds ur not up to her standard

farmie: i rest my case then

farmie: im not here for wham bang tq maam

desperate: hehehheheeh lol

desperate: hey i got to now ...... b

desperate: its raining out side .... better go early before banjir

desperate: bye dear

desperate: take care

farmie: hahhahahaha

I was actually challenging him on a meeting which I know he is hesitate to do it. He was scared perhaps he would meet a lady with a waistline of 38 or 40. Hhahahaha… well ive seen subtle not to mention races and looks but then again im here for friendship. Which I know can lead to many but well ive made everything clear from time to time to anyone to anybody… I can only offer this as far as im concern. Many can translate the other way as they pleased but then its all up to them…

This is part of my conversation to a dude younger than me. Early like about 5pm someone pm me and talk to me about something favours to him. He said just about anything but at the end when I voice out how I feel n what I like to talk about he got pissed. First of all, I don’t came knocking secondly, im not here to pleased. Thirdly, if im bitter to you its because of you. So pick a choice.

Im beginning to feel they came to chat world just to put off their mind off frm work and at the same time throwing a bait to whom they think they can get easily. Too bad sometime I pick it nicely sometime I pick it hard. Depends on how I want to do it that day. Born with 1001 colours now I know, I am really hard to please once I know what I want. I cant easily say yes nor easily push aside. Everything must have reason for me.

If im hard for u today perhaps its my time to retreat. Its just a bad day for you when im getting my pms. Hahahahah the evil laughter roaring. Sucks… I have these days which making me changing my outer layer to the evil farmie… No more softer, noble or modest farmie who love to tickle one mind with ideas, motivations or challenge… Anyway its my den, I’ll have it my way whether you like it or not.

Food of the day....

Penna: Farmie
Released: 230106 (12.06pm)
Mood: Calm

Friday nite i pick Noelle up from KTM and straight bring her her to bangsar for her dinner which im definite she wasnt able to get her dinner before hopping the bus to KL. Roughly about 1130pm she sms me she is already in toll SG Besi. Quickly i instructed 3 of my girls to get ready and left the house.

Upon reaching car park where my car is waiting my 1st daughter showed me a note. "Parking kau macam sial" it says.. I was quizicall and get out frm the car and look at the way i parked. Just like the car besides me. It was the car on the left which parked a bit narrowed where the motorbike cant go in. I get in and whisked the children to get in too and try to get out when i realised my tyre feels so heavy. Only then i notice my left tyre has been punctured by the asshole. I drive slowly to the Esso station pump in the air and goes straight to KTM. Wouldnt want Noelle to wait to long because it is already midnite.

There was Aznin, Fiona, Nicholas waiting in Devis Bangsar when we reach there. Ordered few roti chanai and 2 plate of kue tiaw goreng. Aznin told me Aniz was there earlier with friend but did not join them. After the makan we chat for a while till my twins actually tertido and almost fell from the table. I have to carry her to the carpark and head home after.

Parking was like hell if after 9pm at my place. Was actually going few rounds to look out for it when at last i decide to park far at Block D at the garbage point. Noelle refresh and we watched TV while having conversation. The last i met her was when i visit her in Sg last June with a friend.

Many things have been said but then i leave it behind my head. Moved on and never look back at anything. We were planning of what to buy for our lunch the next day as to whether to visit the Hyper market or wet market. Both has same to offer. I finally cant take it anymore by 2am when i told her i need to doze off.

By 8am i was awake by a thoughts, "wet market would be a good idea where lots of things offered with cheap price" and so i wake Noelle up. We head off to where the car is parked last morning n to my horror it was now replaced by a big 6tonne lorry at the garbage site. Sweating and frantically thinking what could happen i went to ask few people around that corner to see wheter they are aware of the owner of the lorry or they've seen anything last nite. Panicked like hell i punched my brother numbers and he refused to pick up and after few time trying i got fed up n give up. I call my mom and ask whether he is around and she wake him up.

With his calm and peace tone he said "I reparked your car. I came back and see it was parked so far and secluded so i decided to put somewhere nearby. Didnt you checked your SMS?" he said... Damned i was so in shocked and he was calmly telling me its actually safe... Phew what a day...


We bought chicken, tiger prawns, squid, fish and head home to start cooking. SMS few friends to invite them and race against time to be able to meet the time for lunch. By 1.30 chicken mushroom, asam pedas fish, sweet and sour squid, mixed vege and stir fried tiger prawns with garlic is ready to be served. It looks yummy... Budin and Tini came just on time and later joined by Widi...

We sit down and enjoy the food together with my kids around. By 4pm everyone seems to be ready to make a move after Kopi O and fruits for desert. When everyone leave i was actually sweating non stop and face difficulties to breath again. By then only i realise i have missed my morning medication besides no breakfast. Soon after the medication taken i was knocked out and did not hear anything after that.

My kids woke me about 6pm and then brother came to visit and eat what ever i have in the kitchen.

Even in the difficulties i have never left my kids unattended. Making sure they are food on the table and look at their needs was still my priorities. Hope god still give me a bit of time to serve them till they are able to be on their own feet. Till then ill let him take me back in his hand.. God willing ... insyaallah...

Speciallist in Kementah is ready to write a letter for recommendation of my surgery. Till im certain of where and wether i have enough to support the cost for the surgery then ill be ready. Meantime im in gods hand... insyaallah...

Friday, January 20, 2006

Stress or Mental Disorder



Penna: Lynna(190106-12am)
Mood: Quizicall

Many factors can trigger stress disorder. If it is not manage carefully its going to be worst. Two and half days is enough to make me finish my malay novel about stress disorder which was made by oneself, family and being insecure and inferior.

Being in wealthy family doesn’t means what came by can be easily adopted. As long as we are called human difficulties, obstacles are there. Money can’t buy happiness if one are feeling uncertain and so possessive about the wealth they have or a person, as well as in managing them. One look at wealth as the reason to go near to a person. Be it for happiness, advantage, and opportunities or may be others.

As I go along with the novel where a father manage to get the asset by marrying a wife of a wealthy man. After marrying and getting a child the wife are commanded to transfer all the asset to his name. Marriage is sharing “your money is my money, my money is your money” before he gets the assets. When she denies him he become violent and cage his wife in a room and only granted for one meal a day.

Being in a house with his first wife, she was abuse mentally and physically by becoming his maid in his big and beautiful bungalow. One day she begged his first wife to let her loose and flee from Malaysia to Manchester and from there she started her new life.

First wife of a very rich man she was blessed with 2 sons and 2 daughters. Her first daughter was married of to a doctor who education was fully paid by her husband with one condition. When he graduated he has to marry his first daughter. A woman who was only educate until Standard 6 with a famous and successful specialist who owns a Specialist Hospital and few clinic. His assets is worth more than 10 million with one elite bungalow in KL and exclusive condo in Singapore.

His beautiful wife was blessed with 3 children and was prescribe with mental illness due to stress life she leads. She was ordered to stay in Singapore being away from her husband and his 3 kids. Reason due was for him to feel depressed with the situation and when his wife ask for his hospital and clinics to be transferred to her name when he cant stand to be lonely on his own in KL if he wants her to comeback to him. 20k a month was sent to her for her needs, shopping spree gala and her partying time from her darling husband.

Dr Jefri the successful doctor was a very patience man who fights his loneliness with his bz doctor’s life and fill his time with chat world and as well browse porn site to relief his lust and desire for woman. Came along Kesuma who was a drug pharmacologist was so modest and down to earth woman who associates every her daily life with praise to god all the time. Be it when she chat with Dr Jefri, her colleagues, her family and friends.

She met Dr Jefri daughter by accident in a bookshop and became good frens since then. Abdul came along who was a bodyguard, cum PA, cum driver, cum clerk a friend and etc to be a help to Dr Jefri. He was there to apply for a gardener job from Datin Kamariah who was Datuk Habib wife and father to Sarinita, Dr Jefri’s pretty wife.

While Sarinita was in Singapore she wasn’t look like she is a woman with mental disorder like prescribe by a doctor appointed by Datuk Habib. Datuk came to her house to pester her, to ask her to get her husband to change the name to her and then he can take that to his property to pay back all the money spend to raise her and to make him a successful Doctor now. He was paranoid when Sarinita scared to voice it out to her husband.

Datin Kamariah was so fond with Abdul, Dr Jefri’s driver or PA. He was young, tall, handsome, noble, humble, modest least but not last never forget his creator in his daily life.

Kesuma was taken aback of her own feeling towards Abdul and conflict arised when she made a decision of marrying him. Her mother saw the difference of the two in two different world. While Dr Jefri was trying his best to approach her and trying to be fair to his wife who was sick. Dr Jefri was on dilemma as to weather to follow his heart or still be sensible to his wife and her family. He has fallen in love with Kesuma.

Sarinita was so confused of why when she is with him she cant stand her feeling of jealousy and wonder where he goes at night if he is on call. Dr Jefri was one handsome man around his age of 40 and was successful at his age. Fighting his loneliness and desire was one thing he manage before meeting Kesuma and Pandan his cyber friend.

He talked it all to her during her chat and Abduls knows of his employer intention. Abdul himself was already fall for Kesuma and yet to reveal his feelings until one fine day they met to express each others. Kesuma who was so certain of her decision despite her mother rejection and she got her answered after performing her istikharah.

She was glad she was on the right track and two is tangoing the same soul music. She and Abdul flee on the day Datuk Habib being arrested by the police. Forging death slip of his second wife, selling her assets without consent and building and apartment on the said assets plus other chargers related to his wealth. Kesuma had the matter settle for Tania, first daughter of Sarinita and Dr Jefri by bringing her to Singapore to bring his whole family home to KL.

Sarinita was not actually sick with stress disorder or mental disorder. That was her feeling of being insecure and inferior of whom she is. Dr Jefri managed to find a physician for her to do perform counseling and boost her motivation and now she is learning new technology and understand bit by bit of her husband working style. She has her mind set for things and happy with all her family around her. Kesuma was happy that she can be her friend and become god sister to Tania, Dean and Sonia, Dr Jefri kids.

Datin Kamariah laughed at the arrestment of her husband. To her, god had paid cash on his cruelty and she is willing to testify for his greediness and unselfishness towards all the woman he marries. The only thing Datin Kamariah who was wheeled chaired after and accident was really sick now longing for Abdul to be back and to take her to Mekah as he promised.

Kesuma, Daniel, and Yatimah (Abdul/ Daniels Mom) appeared at the door of Hindun’s after few weeks being away. Kesuma is now certain that Abdul whom she met once was the person she met during the conference in Manchester 3 years ago. Daniel/Abdul is Datuk Habib son with his second wife Yatimah whom was locked up in a room with no mercy.

They visit Datin Kamariah and apologize for making Datuk Habib jailed. Daniel knows Datin wanted to see Yatimah before she dies and before she’s going to Mekah. Both of them apologize and make their way for umrah in Mekah together with paired newly wed. Daniel married Kesuma with her mother consent and Hindun now realize not every driver has bad intention to marry his successful daughter for her money. He was a millionaire himself beside his selfish, greedy, unethical, cruel father Datuk Habib.

Dr Jefri still waited for his Pandan friend to appear even now he knows he cant be with Kesuma who was a wife to his driver. Dean who happen to came to his room talking to Pandan revealed who J&H are and Kesuma@Pandan congratulate him of his victory to bring his whole family back to him and lead a happy life.

Novel: Hanya Kerana Cinta

Penulis: Norhayati Berahim

__________________________________________________________________

Unselfishess, greediness, cruelty and whatsoever associating to that can cause stress to you or your immediate family. The instant urge to know something beyond your reach also can caused stress. Insecure and inferiority makes one so unstable and that cause stress too.

Being away for 2 ½ days caused by stress, weather, environment and much thinking, trigger my asthma attack together with my low sugar in blood. Heartbeat faster and heatiness strikes. Was sweating the whole day and shivering at the same time. God is sending a message to me. Stop chasing what the world can offer. Start thinking about death which can come in no time soon, think more of HIM but not what I can achieve now. I got it all, and nothing much to go for. I will go with the flow of nature. No one can dictate me anymore unless I allow it to be. My smile will always be my best friend ever.

The closeness, the bondage of my children are the fastest healing medicine and sensation I had. Without them I can be one mental disorder person too.

Ill be around now perhaps not like last time. This writing was a way of an escapism for me to express and reveal my feelings the way I wanted to be. Ill write my mind away and will always find an expensive topics to rant in here. Expensive because reality is such when its revealed. Get smashed and dashed nicely the way they think. I like that, isn’t that a challenge and im thankful for they still find a way to find me.

Thank you. May tomorrow leads me to more exciting and amusing phase for next path. My journey is still long and destiny is somewhere waiting. Everything is very expensive now even to type this content out. One thing I want to achieve now after watching a drama “Kiamat sudah dekat” I need to find the depth of Ilmu Ikhlas. May I find the real Ikhlas in anyway and action I did in my daily life towards each and everyone. No matter what people saying I believe in my faith and will let Him lead me always. Amin

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Another Untitle Piece

Penna: Farmie
Date released: 2.58pm
Mood : Outstanding

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flowYou love to kick back and take in everything life has to offerA total joy to be around, people crave your stability.While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's doneYou're passionate - just selective about your passions

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist.People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you.You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words.Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize

You Are Confident Sexy

You're one sexy chica, and you know it.You've got the confidence to strut your stuff...And approach any man who happens to catch your eye.You may make a guys run away, but the true men will appreciate your moxie.


Comment from commentator in blogspot
A real eye catching …

bex said...
And if people tell you weird stuff like that again, just say, "It's MY blog, why do you care? Does it really affect you that much? In that case, stop reading it lar!"

Raven said...
i tot blogging is an outlet for individuals to just write watever they want. blog bastard indeed...u need anyone to make bastard of those bloggers..i am available and ready mate! come to think of it, maybe they are virgin bloggers....hmmm......jealousy is a dangerous disease.......

Sic said…
red raven, you support the wrong reds!

Anon said…
Come on u ppl, this is HIS blog. He can do whatever he wants with it!!!!! It's a free world!!

Stray beauty rants….
And I REALLY cannot stand people nagging and...ugh, SO IRRITATING! Please please please SHUT UP already!

Farm comments:
Only old and ancient hag does that…couldn’t care less sweetie. Even if they arent old enuf they are trying to be which is so stupid of them…. Errggghhhh smile because you’ve achieve something out of that…

Each days goes by we see more and more attitude and behaviour. It takes you to express and have the lovely feeling or hatred.. I leave it open as it comes by…Along the journey we will see lots lots of things. It is how you take it anyway… Nowadays I amused myself more on reading and observing…

BBQ in Damansara last nite was good. Tho it was spent only like 2 hours but rummaging and understanding those youngster added more values of experience in understanding human needs, behaviour and attitude… they are real live entertainer… Beautiful, witty, young, cunning and of course knows where, what, who, when, why… that’s will complete answers towards them. To Fiona thank you for inviting, for Poker its not easy to really find a good friend, thank you for being you. Ariff thanks for an eye opening to certain things that i dont know what is it... To the rest i dont feel like the ancient hag there.. i just notice i was once there lol...

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Stomping out in Reality... Tho its Bite but its Real

Thursday, January 12, 2006


Stomping out in Reality... Tho its Bite but its Real

Cuttings from my messenger this morning

Man_U : straight to d pint ya..
farm: ok dokie
Man_U : since u mentioned about ballz jst now..
Man_U :
farm: aha
Man_U : what if there a girl keep on seducing me sampaikan he wants me to make love with her
farm: so
farm: wats the questions
farm: where is ur iman
farm: wat do u look in her
farm: wd u fall for one night stand
farm: or may be she wants to tag u whole life
farm: ask urself wat do u really want
farm: fall for lust or fall for the passion n compassion
farm: bingo n fulstop
Man_U : tu la mi..
farm: wats ur verdict
Man_U : i x know..confius..
farm: hey
farm: lets get this straight do u want to fuck her?
farm: bcs shes offering?
farm: or do u want to make love to her bcos u like her or love her
farm: the answer is there
Man_U : x get me wrong semua guys i rasa mcm tu mi..
Man_U : tp i tak buat apa2 pon lg..
farm: hey im asking u straight q
farm: answer me
farm: u do or not
farm: its up to u
farm: answer my q
Man_U : i do but at d same time i dont
farm: one more time wd u want to fuck n forget
farm: or
farm: wd u want to make love n make the relationship go on
farm: choose one
Man_U : whats a different??
farm: hahahah so u dont know ur self yet
farm: n u dont know wat do u want
farm: fucking n making love has so much diff

Petikan from a friends blog:

I was reading a fren's blog dated 9 jan and somehow got the nagging feeling that it was referring to me. Am i perasan or not? :P It was about telling someone what you disliked about them. Im known to be very honest in my sometimes hurtful comments, especially if im close to the commentee. Though some might call it callous, insensitive and untactful but i'd prefer to be honest than be a hypocrite. Wouldnt you?

Farm comments:brutal honesty usually shed you frm being in their friend list. but i prefer black truth than white lies for at the end of the day the return for apologizing session that what they like most!!!

________________________________________________________________

My note to my dearest friend who shed me from her friendlist…Kudos to her!!!

hi thanks for your silent dissapearance and i hope my last mail to you doesn’t offend you much in ur thoughts and reality. sorry to hold the names in due case, they are still in fren list tho not theirs. Perhaps thats the best thing you could do to suit you. good luck in your search and i still owe u the explanation should u still want to sit over tea one of those days when you gets here. when i promised i will grant it unless they dont want it. its your call. have a nice day and do take care. sometime ppl we carry along with us without we see do hurt but its better to say it here then keeping it. u have make a choice of yours in your silence. i read you clearly thanks for the ears and shoulder offered all this while. sayonara my fren


________________________________________________________________

Cuttings from Sans Boundaries Blogspot

Practice safer sex. You shouldn't have sex with someone with a sexually transmitted disease. But no matter what, you should always use latex (or polyurethane) condoms to lessen your chance of getting sexually transmitted diseases.- And make sure you use water-based lubricants. Don't use Vaseline!!

-Keep your stress level down. -Have sex regularly to keep it down.

Another nice piece and amusing…

you are ATTRACTIVE and should have no issues finding a squeeze.

you can throw:

i) great personality
ii) a big heart
iii) intelligence...

out the window.

________________________________________________________________

RED EYE VIEW RAMBLINGS…

I had my own fair share of stares and constants whispering before. I was in a relationship with an older woman. She was 10 years older than me. She was a divorcee with 4 young daughters. The eldest was 10 years younger than me, twins who were entering their teenage years and the youngest was 10 years old when I met her. We were a couple for a good 3 years before it all ended.

In any relationship, there will always be obstacles and challenges that you might have to face but being in a relationship that society deemed to be wrong not just in Malaysia but everywhere else in the world was something else. At first it was hard as going for movies or having a dinner outside were a challenge for us as we have to ignore staring eyes watching our every move and being judge d on the way we acted. Try as you might to be comfortable but when you just feel every single pair of eyes were fixed on you, it was a struggle. You thought after awhile it would stop but it never did and t became impossible to ignore. It became stressful and we usually opt for takeaways and vcds or dvds.

Farm comments: When the tough gets going and going gets tough!!. It takes one strong man to face the reality and desire to fulfil. It depends how he tackle life is. Obstacle and challenges will always be there but then lets the conscience takes place nor desire or lust.

________________________________________________________________

Now as I go around the bloggers space I find its more amusing to read from those out from myspace where they write and keep the picture amusingly and desiringly to read more and more of their ramblings.. I was thinking whether was it worth to write according to what people want or what I love to. Raunchy or not, pleasing or not it is not actually for you. It is merely for me. The intensity of wanting to write more to let of my steam off myself. The craving needs and wanting more to write taking it out of mind and read it repeatedly when I have time.

Few bfs called me last nite which ended with stupid question like

“So you going to sleep now?”

“Ya laa then what go and ride bicyle?”

“Why are you so outspoken nowadays compare to the same farmie I know last year?”

“Should I spell what you need everytime or should I please what I feel and want?

“But anyhow farmie, I still want to see you no matter how many pounds you put on and how big are you, to me you are the still the same farmie I wanted to be with?”

“ERK… should I spare you that time hahahahhaah”

“So dear I don’t know how, no matter how hard and how bitter are you to me I still come back to you”

The harsh word means you are not suppose to be back in my pm box nor in my small buddy along with the voice”

“I don’t care sometimes how hurt I am with your words or way you treat me, I still know you would still be there to listen should I need ur ear n ur shoulder”

“Was I there? When did you meet me? In heaven or hell hahahhaah?”

He feel so offended and agitated but then he still come back and call at the time he please. Sometime I just ignore, sometime I just layan just to get the spice going for me or him. Like I read today in myspace “THINKING about relations can be tiring. How about BUILDING relations? Never mind the bumps along the way, the result could be well worth it. As the confused Confucius said: It's not the destination; it's the journey”

The bumps make me wiser and the hump makes me hmmmmm hahahahah, shit I shouldn’t be thinking those. I just want to share some of my thoughts if you may hear and if you still love to be there as friends. Talk what you want to talk, say what you love to but at the end of the day think whether is it going to benefit to you.

Thank you for visiting and hope no offence felt here nor slight feelings of hate. But I welcome that smirking face with full of disgust look anyway…

People love and hates honesty at the same time. Why because they cant find where they belongs too. Love and destiny cant get along while love acquires lots of pain but destiny acquires lots of passion. In life we cant have all at once. Its either one. I learn to accept what comes and dont ask much but always be thankful for what im given and granted. HE knows best for me, you and each and everyone....”

This is my new blogspot header should you want to find me if im not around here… Blogging and Messenger has became an escapism but to me is a place to learn about human attitude and behaviour. People don’t talk should it not happen in life or reality……..

Have a nice day folks
Pena: Farmie (120106-16.15)
Mood : Bitchy

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Relations or Affairs

Cuttings from my blog dated 21 July 2005….

“We read everywhere today about rapist, being rape, rogol, incest n almost everything about man and woman force to have sex even with a small girl.... I feel sad and depressed hearing all those...

As a woman, mother, lady and friends undeniably i am worried about my grown up girls .... It is not safe anymore to be anywhere in the world even at home... it is very very sad to hear father having own daughter, grandfather having own grandchild.... how would a woman, lady, female be safe if they cant trust their immediate family??

Can we ask ourself why is this happening to us now?? To wife, where is your husband now? To girlfriend did your boyfriend ask you to go to bed with him, to father did you really take care of you kids in terms of giving her real good lesson of being a female, lady or teenager. Do we gave em enough knowledge about relations, man and woman, enough religious knowledge, the good and the bad points of being together .....

To wife do we give enough to our husband of what he wants, do we fully understand his need n what he wants beside a partner, companion, a person to greet him when he is home. I find lots of woman nowadays forgot this few things when both claim are tired from being tied up in the office. Well I guess a great understanding need here from both party where both played great role in marriage….”

This a comment from malay male age 40ish from his very own opinion and view…

Nak komen ni kena bahasa melayu laa.. senang rujuk sikit... Ni.. nak bagitau laa.. ni pendapat aku sendiri laa.. yang timbul dari jiwa hati hawa nafsu aku sendiri nih.. mungkin kalau silap tu.. salah aku jugak la.. Cam ni... kalau kita bebalik pada ugama laa... kita ni dilahirkan.. di cipta oleh tuhan dengan hawa nafsu.. pastu tuhan turunkan nabi untuk tunjuk ajar laa... camana nak kontrol hawa nafsu.. (hawa nafsu ni yang mesti ada punya kat semua orang) .. Bagi yang belajaq ugama.. depa ni dah tahu dah.. halal haram.. pahala dosa..tuhan cakap boleh kawin sampai empat.. (org pompuan bangkang 159%).. Tapi tu laa.. semua orang termasuk pemerintah takut .. kecut teloq bila orang pompuan bantah.. So.. depa pun buat undang2 sendiri laa... kalau nak kawin empat mesti kena cukup semua.. nafkah zahir batin... Maka para2 datuk menteri orang2 kaya yang nak tamat riwayat pun berpeluang la menikah banyak..

Dalam masa yang sama jugak laa... dunia ni dah expose memacam dah.. tak kira laa Tv .. media.. internet.. abih segala cerita luaq dalam depa londeh abih... Maka para2 datuk, menteri, nelayan, petani hatta pengkutip tin pun semua stim abih... punya la stim.. abih dinding depa semboq.. Yang kaya orait laa.. tapi yang miskin ni... nak pi tojah kat mana?.. tak kan lobang punggung sendiri kot.. (tak sampai)... Maka terjadilah perkara2 yang tak di ingini... memang aku pun loya 14 kali muntah bila dengaq cerita2 sedih yang cenggini... Tapi itulah hakikatnya...

Yang bukan ugama islam pulak.. senang keje.. bayaq RM10 boleh balun ayam pencen dah.. pejabat ugama pun buat derk saja laa... tapi yang ugama islam ni.. depa takut laa.. kalau nak buat pun macam itik jer laa... tak sampai 5 saat blah.. maklumlah takut pencegah maksiat... sebab takut ni jugak laa.. depa punya tahan nafsu sampai naik sengal teloq.. punya banyak gelen dok simpan.. sampai tak tahan lagi laa..

Yang aku tak paham ni kan... para2 isteri ni kan.. awat la depa ni pentingkan diri sendiri... laki depa nak kawin lain biaq pi laa... asal depa bagi nafkah zahir batin... Yang depa nak kawin tu pompuan jugak laa... kesian kat depa ni... gersang manjang sebab takde laki... Depa ni jugak laa yang di anggap perampas.. pompuan jahat segala... padahal depa ni pun perlukan kasih sayang seorang laki.. Yang aku pening nih... Pompuan jugak yang bangkang.. tapi pompuan jugak yang nak lelaki.. (konpius aku nak explain)

Memang aku tak nafikan.. ada lelaki yang memang jahat gila babi punya jahat.. yang macam ni memang aku setuju kita kita bakaq ngan mancis... pelan2 sampai mati.. peliaq depa tu memang takder disiplin.. tak kira tua muda jantan betina, ayam itik kambing semua depa nak balun... patut masa lahir.. cantas awal2...

oklah.. lain kali aku bagi pendapatan aku lagi... pening dah nih...

akum

Posted by @b@Ng on Thursday, July 21, 2005 at 9:49 PM

Theres part that I object on his comment

1. gersang manjang sebab takde laki...”

Not every woman who are single lusted for man or sex. There are woman who has very strong religion background. I know even so up to some extend or for any reason they can fall into it but no, not all woman are into that idea.

I cant deny sex are cheap nowadays but there are still high price for pride and dignity to some people. Yeah I agree to the commentor of some woman who would not share her husband to some other woman no doubt even if the husband would be able to support the wife physically and desirely.

But again I always like to refer reason why marriage are agreed to both to certain extent. Married for love, married for being responsible, married for desire, married to help, married to satisfied parents needs and wants or married just for fun.

Walking in life path for more that 30 over years make me experienced, hear, saw, and learn a lot of things. Name me any, I would be able to smile by listening and just walk away. Living together for years are not anymore something new. They are happy. This is the trend nowadays. Religion are no longer a barrier to one individu should they want to do it. They perform same kind of life like husband and wife do but the only thing they are different there are no nuptial knot to their relations. Its open, theres no ijab nor qabul.

Having affair in marriage are so common now. Some with happy marriage too. Why? It varies from man and woman views. Lets read from mans views. “hari-hari makan ikan jemu juga, nak juga rasa daging atau ayam” It means they are happy but they just need spice. They want the thrill, the different from being the normal woman they are living with. They want the spice, the teasing to make current relations more exciting and meaning.

Secondly after few years of marriage they become tired and bored to the wife. This comes with many reason. Man always wants new kind of approach and something new. And sometime woman itself cant maintain or sustain their talkative person, loving and caring person or even the same smiling her like she used to be in the early years of courting. Where could it gone wrong? That’s you, yourself has to answer.

Thirdly, its just happen without any intention of having it. It just happen! He tried to avoid, he tried not to fall but somehow its comes naturally. Its unavoidable, its just come without being alarmed and suddenly he feels its hard to forget her who just comes to his way perhaps just by her courtesy offering morning coffee.

Now im going to take you to woman’s point why affair in marriage do happen. Not being attended fully by husband are one of the common issue. Many malay or to be specific muslim women are bound to follow the rules of islam whereby they are not at all to entertain those who are not muhrim to them. But didn’t we heard a saying “perempuanlah musuh yang paling ketat bagi lelaki dan paling ampuh”

Perhaps to women its just involving a feelings without being lusty or more to like a husband and wife relations. They just need someone to hear, to lend a shoulder and someone to refer when they have some problem. Some can really handle it successfully without being ended to his bed.

To some its purely sex where it was never enough with his man. Shocking but true. Not many would be brave to say it out loud. “Just enjoy those part without having any emotional attachment to it. He and me can enjoy that part beautifully. He can come to me as well as I can come to him without having the bondage of love, its purely fun and I enjoy him as toyboy” phewwww upon listening to her very brave confession, I gulp my own saliva to the toughts of being brave and courageous enough to have that strength to do it. She was pretty and successful with happy marriage and nice kids. Fun to be with and always kicking. The terms is simple “I don’t ask you where you are, I don’t check your phone so its vice versa. Deal…??” And so he agreed.

Once the agreement is found strategy is set and goal is supposedly achieved accordingly.

Enough with affairs. Now we move to second marriage issue. Some are deliberately gallivanting the idea of man can marry more than one. Taking that every opportunity to have another woman because the first one aint satisfying enough, not giving kids, or not anymore as hot as she is before. He needs more attention, care, love and soul partner and to some not having enough bed partner.

Some are really happy because they do it because of love and have respect over each other and understand why the second marriage is needed. They come to and understanding and get the permission and dealing with the live accordingly with the routine of staying with one and another.

Some do it merely for helping single mothers with kids and some doing it just to get her out to be back to the first husband after being divorce.

There is always reasons for everything and you know theres always reason why things happen to you this way.

God is showing things his way. Its only takes you to understand to think how does it leads you to current situation. Up to this lines I asked myself why did I not still being patience or why did I not tell him what I don’t like and what I like. I take all the blame myself. I am not pointing him for I know if I don’t give him the chance, I wont be who I am today. I think its fair enough for me to say this tho I know both have a different role to salvage or maintain the happiness in our marriage before.

Dear readers its life story, things which happens around us. No story will be made unless its happening. There are full of colours around me and I choose to what I am today. I can listen and advise but I cant be making a decision to them. At all time I am being fair to say what is benefited to each and everyone without siding anyone. At the end of the day you yourself are going to think and decide what can you come up with the advice given to you and lead your life. Should you think its happier to have some and loose some so take it, should you also think its easier to give up some and take more too its up to you, should you take all and care less about other things also its challenging you and should you give up all and took only what you want will also benefited you to the least that you are doing what you want without being told what is good and whats not.

Dalam DIA ada AKU dan dalam AKU ada DIA. Carilah AKU untuk menentukan siapakah DIA. Mulanya aku tidak faham tetapi perlahan-lahan kuketahui apakah rahsia disebalik kata ini.

Pena: Lynna (31st dec 05:3.55am)
Mood: Contempelative

Friday, January 06, 2006

New Year with Untitled Blog

Nothing much has been written since i was busy managing my girls school registration, school fees and buying text book for the new year in school. Everything seems to be okay except my schedule starts early and ends very late everyday. By my contentment and mind calm brings me to what i am now. Im feeling calm and peace tho i hear Rome rant and ramble everyday about her dearest. Trying as much to hear and listen as well as give her motivation. I cant offer more... sad to say its the choice of life people take to be who they are.

Born stupid or born to be stupid. Take things easily or hard. Be comparatively fine or complete the incompatiblity with sense. Tired of thinking about relations, i put aside the idea and welcome only frienship. Last night Abg Rahmat called out of the blue checking how am i. A friend who came out of the ocean with a pail of plain water. hahahaha i cant think now.. i just want to write and release some esteem without even have a title...

Cya again....

is This Me??

Your Birthdate: July 15

You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things.
You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle.
Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home.
You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak.

Your strength: Your intense optimism

Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents

Your power color: Jade

Your power symbol: Flower

Your power month: June

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Can't Take My Eyes Off You Lyrics

by Frankie Valli

 
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
 
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
 
I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.
 
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
 
I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay..