Cuttings from my blog dated 21 July 2005….
“We read everywhere today about rapist, being rape, rogol, incest n almost everything about man and woman force to have sex even with a small girl.... I feel sad and depressed hearing all those...
As a woman, mother, lady and friends undeniably i am worried about my grown up girls .... It is not safe anymore to be anywhere in the world even at home... it is very very sad to hear father having own daughter, grandfather having own grandchild.... how would a woman, lady, female be safe if they cant trust their immediate family??
Can we ask ourself why is this happening to us now?? To wife, where is your husband now? To girlfriend did your boyfriend ask you to go to bed with him, to father did you really take care of you kids in terms of giving her real good lesson of being a female, lady or teenager. Do we gave em enough knowledge about relations, man and woman, enough religious knowledge, the good and the bad points of being together .....
To wife do we give enough to our husband of what he wants, do we fully understand his need n what he wants beside a partner, companion, a person to greet him when he is home. I find lots of woman nowadays forgot this few things when both claim are tired from being tied up in the office. Well I guess a great understanding need here from both party where both played great role in marriage….”
This a comment from malay male age 40ish from his very own opinion and view…
Nak komen ni kena bahasa melayu laa.. senang rujuk sikit... Ni.. nak bagitau laa.. ni pendapat aku sendiri laa.. yang timbul dari jiwa hati hawa nafsu aku sendiri nih.. mungkin kalau silap tu.. salah aku jugak la.. Cam ni... kalau kita bebalik pada ugama laa... kita ni dilahirkan.. di cipta oleh tuhan dengan hawa nafsu.. pastu tuhan turunkan nabi untuk tunjuk ajar laa... camana nak kontrol hawa nafsu.. (hawa nafsu ni yang mesti ada punya kat semua orang) .. Bagi yang belajaq ugama.. depa ni dah tahu dah.. halal haram.. pahala dosa..tuhan cakap boleh kawin sampai empat.. (org pompuan bangkang 159%).. Tapi tu laa.. semua orang termasuk pemerintah takut .. kecut teloq bila orang pompuan bantah.. So.. depa pun buat undang2 sendiri laa... kalau nak kawin empat mesti kena cukup semua.. nafkah zahir batin... Maka para2 datuk menteri orang2 kaya yang nak tamat riwayat pun berpeluang la menikah banyak..
Dalam masa yang sama jugak laa... dunia ni dah expose memacam dah.. tak kira laa Tv .. media.. internet.. abih segala cerita luaq dalam depa londeh abih... Maka para2 datuk, menteri, nelayan, petani hatta pengkutip tin pun semua stim abih... punya la stim.. abih dinding depa semboq.. Yang kaya orait laa.. tapi yang miskin ni... nak pi tojah kat mana?.. tak kan lobang punggung sendiri kot.. (tak sampai)... Maka terjadilah perkara2 yang tak di ingini... memang aku pun loya 14 kali muntah bila dengaq cerita2 sedih yang cenggini... Tapi itulah hakikatnya...
Yang bukan ugama islam pulak.. senang keje.. bayaq RM10 boleh balun ayam pencen dah.. pejabat ugama pun buat derk saja laa... tapi yang ugama islam ni.. depa takut laa.. kalau nak buat pun macam itik jer laa... tak sampai 5 saat blah.. maklumlah takut pencegah maksiat... sebab takut ni jugak laa.. depa punya tahan nafsu sampai naik sengal teloq.. punya banyak gelen dok simpan.. sampai tak tahan lagi laa..
Yang aku tak paham ni kan... para2 isteri ni kan.. awat la depa ni pentingkan diri sendiri... laki depa nak kawin lain biaq pi laa... asal depa bagi nafkah zahir batin... Yang depa nak kawin tu pompuan jugak laa... kesian kat depa ni... gersang manjang sebab takde laki... Depa ni jugak laa yang di anggap perampas.. pompuan jahat segala... padahal depa ni pun perlukan kasih sayang seorang laki.. Yang aku pening nih... Pompuan jugak yang bangkang.. tapi pompuan jugak yang nak lelaki.. (konpius aku nak explain)
Memang aku tak nafikan.. ada lelaki yang memang jahat gila babi punya jahat.. yang macam ni memang aku setuju kita kita bakaq ngan mancis... pelan2 sampai mati.. peliaq depa tu memang takder disiplin.. tak kira tua muda jantan betina, ayam itik kambing semua depa nak balun... patut masa lahir.. cantas awal2...
oklah.. lain kali aku bagi pendapatan aku lagi... pening dah nih...
akum
Posted by @b@Ng on Thursday, July 21, 2005 at 9:49 PM
Theres part that I object on his comment
1. “gersang manjang sebab takde laki...”
Not every woman who are single lusted for man or sex. There are woman who has very strong religion background. I know even so up to some extend or for any reason they can fall into it but no, not all woman are into that idea.
I cant deny sex are cheap nowadays but there are still high price for pride and dignity to some people. Yeah I agree to the commentor of some woman who would not share her husband to some other woman no doubt even if the husband would be able to support the wife physically and desirely.
But again I always like to refer reason why marriage are agreed to both to certain extent. Married for love, married for being responsible, married for desire, married to help, married to satisfied parents needs and wants or married just for fun.
Walking in life path for more that 30 over years make me experienced, hear, saw, and learn a lot of things. Name me any, I would be able to smile by listening and just walk away. Living together for years are not anymore something new. They are happy. This is the trend nowadays. Religion are no longer a barrier to one individu should they want to do it. They perform same kind of life like husband and wife do but the only thing they are different there are no nuptial knot to their relations. Its open, theres no ijab nor qabul.
Having affair in marriage are so common now. Some with happy marriage too. Why? It varies from man and woman views. Lets read from mans views. “hari-hari makan ikan jemu juga, nak juga rasa daging atau ayam” It means they are happy but they just need spice. They want the thrill, the different from being the normal woman they are living with. They want the spice, the teasing to make current relations more exciting and meaning.
Secondly after few years of marriage they become tired and bored to the wife. This comes with many reason. Man always wants new kind of approach and something new. And sometime woman itself cant maintain or sustain their talkative person, loving and caring person or even the same smiling her like she used to be in the early years of courting. Where could it gone wrong? That’s you, yourself has to answer.
Thirdly, its just happen without any intention of having it. It just happen! He tried to avoid, he tried not to fall but somehow its comes naturally. Its unavoidable, its just come without being alarmed and suddenly he feels its hard to forget her who just comes to his way perhaps just by her courtesy offering morning coffee.
Now im going to take you to woman’s point why affair in marriage do happen. Not being attended fully by husband are one of the common issue. Many malay or to be specific muslim women are bound to follow the rules of islam whereby they are not at all to entertain those who are not muhrim to them. But didn’t we heard a saying “perempuanlah musuh yang paling ketat bagi lelaki dan paling ampuh”
Perhaps to women its just involving a feelings without being lusty or more to like a husband and wife relations. They just need someone to hear, to lend a shoulder and someone to refer when they have some problem. Some can really handle it successfully without being ended to his bed.
To some its purely sex where it was never enough with his man. Shocking but true. Not many would be brave to say it out loud. “Just enjoy those part without having any emotional attachment to it. He and me can enjoy that part beautifully. He can come to me as well as I can come to him without having the bondage of love, its purely fun and I enjoy him as toyboy” phewwww upon listening to her very brave confession, I gulp my own saliva to the toughts of being brave and courageous enough to have that strength to do it. She was pretty and successful with happy marriage and nice kids. Fun to be with and always kicking. The terms is simple “I don’t ask you where you are, I don’t check your phone so its vice versa. Deal…??” And so he agreed.
Once the agreement is found strategy is set and goal is supposedly achieved accordingly.
Enough with affairs. Now we move to second marriage issue. Some are deliberately gallivanting the idea of man can marry more than one. Taking that every opportunity to have another woman because the first one aint satisfying enough, not giving kids, or not anymore as hot as she is before. He needs more attention, care, love and soul partner and to some not having enough bed partner.
Some are really happy because they do it because of love and have respect over each other and understand why the second marriage is needed. They come to and understanding and get the permission and dealing with the live accordingly with the routine of staying with one and another.
Some do it merely for helping single mothers with kids and some doing it just to get her out to be back to the first husband after being divorce.
There is always reasons for everything and you know theres always reason why things happen to you this way.
God is showing things his way. Its only takes you to understand to think how does it leads you to current situation. Up to this lines I asked myself why did I not still being patience or why did I not tell him what I don’t like and what I like. I take all the blame myself. I am not pointing him for I know if I don’t give him the chance, I wont be who I am today. I think its fair enough for me to say this tho I know both have a different role to salvage or maintain the happiness in our marriage before.
Dear readers its life story, things which happens around us. No story will be made unless its happening. There are full of colours around me and I choose to what I am today. I can listen and advise but I cant be making a decision to them. At all time I am being fair to say what is benefited to each and everyone without siding anyone. At the end of the day you yourself are going to think and decide what can you come up with the advice given to you and lead your life. Should you think its happier to have some and loose some so take it, should you also think its easier to give up some and take more too its up to you, should you take all and care less about other things also its challenging you and should you give up all and took only what you want will also benefited you to the least that you are doing what you want without being told what is good and whats not.
Dalam DIA ada AKU dan dalam AKU ada DIA. Carilah AKU untuk menentukan siapakah DIA. Mulanya aku tidak faham tetapi perlahan-lahan kuketahui apakah rahsia disebalik kata ini.
Pena: Lynna (31st dec 05:3.55am)
Mood: Contempelative
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