PMS

Current mood: angry
Category: MySpace / MyDen/ MyZone

Penna: Lynna
Released : 270206
Mood: Roaring with flame

I was quiet, due to my tiredness yesterday I guess. Headache, temperature of my body goes up by evening, plus the heat from the weather really makes me worn. A day in Nilai to be an advisor to my cousin upcoming wedding in May really ties me down. The chance to meet my aunt and the rest of the cousins was overwhelming at first. But eventually worn off by the heat of the sunny weather and sticky feeling as we browse along one to another shop looking for the right materials and concept. Whenever question asked it was like the "donno" answer likely to be heard, by few hours later I was really pissed and walk back to my car to get some refreshment and catch hold of a conversation.

When the sweat is gone I join them back and decision was made later without much noise. Ani, Nurul, Tuty and me keep on teasing and joking while aunt was just intercepting whenever needed. The long haul of me not being with them never creates and iceberg in our relations amongst us. We are still as naughty as we are before. We still can enjoy a joke, laughter, story and whatever. By the time everything finalized it was already like 6.30pm when my dad called to ask what time I can reach home because he wanted to use the car.

With that I don't have much time to wait longer not coming with them to hang around. I cant stand the sticky feeling and the humid weather anymore. All I need was a long bath under the cold shower to freshen up my body and mind. Solely…

Ita said her mother was sick. I was just listening… without saying anything…

My mind is thinking of so many thing… My stubbornness have not allowed me to be back in Tg Dahan just as yet. As hard as they can be to me and that's what they are getting… As much as they can be softer to me, as much of the kindness and passionate I would be in return…

Yeah, I was never cruel to anyone, but you have already challenging me to the utmost ultimate level that I cant stand it anymore… where I just have to be myself and think whats the best for me and my children and eventually they learn their lesson. And so do i……

A time will come where all will be laid out one by one… Like it or not everyone has to take it and swallow it… yes, thorn, poisonous, or be it sweet or gentle, ill leave it to the time when it comes…

Now, especially morning I was very moody… damned this feeling. PMS I should say besides after the blood sample taken last Friday I was always feeling dizzy and tired easily… Sign of old age I would say … J

I had an interesting chat with a new friend last weekwhich makes me connected to Andrew somehow… Should he left me because he wanted to, he wont be coming back lazily to my den asking and pacing. But I never hold any grudge on him because of him many things happen too. I only remember the essence of the sweet memories of a relationship. May you have done many things to hurt or indirectly without you wanting it. I still keep you fresh in my memory as one of my friend who need an attention. But let me remind you, with me you don't have to create lies to be connected to me. Life are such, be it good or bad we don't have to tell about what she does or not. To be connected as it is, was so easy actually. Its just a gut that you needed most!

Well not everyone will buy your story raw like some people saying. They are still worry, jealous and lots of bloody awful things was said but then for people who really knows who you are will always weigh it. But then again its individual… Andrew was not the only one lie, I do, they do, she does, he did but always for reason. If he thinks I need him to be tagged along in his life, no that's not something you need to worry about… I have my own time to appreciate between a relations and commitment…

How do you define love N was saying… Erk… touch, feel, expressing, showing, indulging but alas the point is one to give and take… but what if only one willing to give and the other was pulling. I learn my good lesson since..

I have no more regrets… I believe in what I believe before… If it is meant for me it will come back to me… It does and now is time to execute, and fight all the battle in life to reach the destination over the journey of life….

When we are given time to explore, trail every lil bit of it along with the bumps and humps, tho it is tiring but it will surely leading to a destination even it was not the end of the story… sometime love are not meant to be shared together in a marriage but carries along in life which is better I guess… THINKING about relations can be tiring. How about BUILDING relations? Never mind the bumps along the way, the result could be well worth it. As the confused Confucius said: It's not the destination; it's the journey. (cutting frm beej comments abt relations)

Desperate I am?? Not as some people does… I have got everything better than anyone does… for at least I still can breath and striving for tomorrow…

Have faith, for "yang haq pasti mengatasi yang bathil"…. If I was tricked and fall into the lying part it doesn't make me cant come back to a starting point where I begin and im glad I did not pulled together in the path shit of lies…

Baby, thank you for giving me a chance but hey you got a big role to prove me wrong babe…