Category: Blogging
Penna: Lynna
Released: 220206 (10.11)
Mood: Hesitate
Strange... i feel strange...
I wanted to open up but im scared
Will I be hurt again...Will I hurt em for not being fair for taking too long time to accept or to love. Theres two split personality in me who crave and pushing for any kind of relations institution
Fear that's the best word to describe how I feel now. My hearts are heavy now I have doubts. Should I, should I not or I just let god decide for me. Im tired of thinking my mouth said something my heart says differently.. contradicting yeah great, indeed I am I just want them to be happy without much care for me, myself and i. For how long I want to be feeling like this I feel like shit
Now I need help
Now I have all that I want, but . I have problems to admit tho ive said it I want to go and strive for it but the feeling for the other half and those close to me. Weird I am able to make one mind so peacefully by soothing them with my words by im not able to do it my own
Why
Damn this feeling. Weird, weird, weird
I just want to release some steam
I have guest at home and she is not as far away from me, she is still my half sister. But with her coming my family feel a distant. Instead of staying at moms place she prefer mine I feel bad for mom but I cant force people for not overnight at her place for sure I just hope I can be god solving things easily Perhaps my dad would feel it too but then how am I going to pleased everyone I know by being away from them that makes things worst but I need a space to do the best to help all and to make everyone at peaceGod help please..
Its haunting me indeed. What shall I do. I have left it once ago.
Marriage a question that I avoid to answer since im single being ignorance on that subject was easy.
Now I am asked nicely which was once forgotten I couldn't believe it myself but then still I know its going to come haunting me
Don't I want someone to look after me, care for me, love me in the first place.
Damned feelings
Its heavy again . The way he kissed my head, the way he gripped my hands, it is not the same. It's the whole new expression of him or was I still dreaming of fantasy land came real.
Tq for giving the second time to say "I love you". I was speechless I want to believe in that and not trusting it at all. Which one is it, believe it or not....god help me please!
I don't want to be dreaming again, I know whole truth about love is to let them love you and you loving them, but would I fairly be doing it.
Can I just receive without returning
Can I just take without loosing
Arghhhh what should I do
On another chapter it doesn't take me long to detect some personality with the effects with the connection with the right subject. Hey im glad I did it. Im smiling again on some achievement
As usual the guy and the gals ask me to check my rights first for my medical benefits. Why am I so stupid all this while. I am being played by them but this time let me spin. Insyaallah for those fren who has been pestering and asking how am I, thank you
With your pray everything is going to be ok. My vows is to look around for opportunity I will open up the book again. Yes perhaps I have to admit, I was never serious, I mean putting 100f the efforts on looking I just pass and never follow up, with their busy schedule it was forgotten or sat on it
Bagi yang tak berpuashati lagi tu, warnailah dan jernihilah rohani dengan keredhaan, dari keredhaan datang nikmat kebahagian Biar bukan wang yang melayang tetapi keterbukaan dan penyerahan jiwa untuknya dan berserah atas segala yang terjadi untuknya adalah kunci kebahagian didunia
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