Happy Birthday Me!!!

Penna: Lynna
Released: 170706
Mood: Cool

Category: Blogging

I had a quiet birthday this year. Secluding myself from outer world and only celebrating with my loved ones and dearest friends. My kids was the most happiest person. Early in the morning hugging and tugging with me on my bed holding me close and a birthday wished and kissed was then heared and felt.

Early in the morning I was ready to take my kids n nephew for a treat. I was holding the hurt in me badly just to look happy around them and a question was asked "Bu we are going to have lunch at the lake". I gulp and swallow the question slowly ask them back "who wants to have lunch with Uncle?" Four out of five did. When i asked Nana then she says "oklah bu jom lets go".

I sat in the car for quite some time to think. I will hurt 4 out of 5 if i don't go and it has been almost a month they have not seem him. I drive slowly and still pacing with my thoughts within me and exploring the needs to be there. I was actually have set my mind to take them for movie, library, park and landscape exhibition in Perdana Lake. I gave in because Ii need them because they are very happy and it was my birthday.

Shira of all thought, he is treating us but the was puzzled then why i paid the bills instead of him. I explain to her that since it was my birthday it is my duty to treat everyone not him. I told her that later at night a friend of mine will be throwing a party for me. She was silent after. She knows usually I will cook for my friends to gather at my place for lunch or dinner. I dont want to have that this year.

It was an enjoyable lunch actually. I saw everyone smilling happily not to exclude my nephew. The lake of tears enlosed within my heart, i was actually then portraying the other me. The drive home was slow and easy. I was suppose to them to KLCC then for jalan-jalan. Nana has something to buy and Shira is suppose to belanja me. I smile at her thoughts. Pleasing them on my birthday always bring joy in me. After dinner Anum called that she is on the way. The birthday treat was good.

This birthday has bring a total of new me who knows what I need and want for my next path of life. I have all those that I love to be with except man who I can call lover or husband. Other than that im fulfilled with strengths, courage and blessed.

4 days ago someone who dated me 20 years ago spitting what he has hold for me ever since he set his eyes on me during my school days. After he has a chance to date me he did ask his mom to sent his proposal to my house until the later he found out his mom didn't for some reason.

He was so frusturated married someone who is recommended by a friend and still married till now. To hear what he has kept for me all this days has brought a wide smile from ear to ear but "it was too late already" i told him. We are never meant to be together. Yes, i did went out with him. I was just so naive back then, just after school and i wasn't looking for anyone besides that time Amin, my first boyfriend is there (hahhaah cinta monyet betul). During back then to me they came just as friends.

Too many, I have to runaway from them. Why?? My bubbly and jovial attitude can be adaptable by anybody even the pakciks and makciks. They can even join me in the netball team player once i convinced them to participate. Till now if i even meet the pakciks and makciks again they will talk and talk and talk without stopping. With my status now, i cant be talking to anyone like i used to do. Fitnah and backstabber are everywhere. But i believe i do nothing to hurt anyone and that stays with me forever.

Would i change myself into someone else?? Would he ever understand what i want? Stop asking lynna. A constant change in life start from within. I am embarking my new life now. Relationship tire me entirely. I'll take just the face no more no less now on....

Have a nice day folks...

12.43pm