Angels

I like to share my experience of carrying my first baby with you today. Since the beginning of marriage ive always wanted to have twins. Day and night I pray and ask from HIM to grant me a pair of twins for my first baby. Anyway my first baby did not come immediately. My sister in law who married later than me conceived her first baby immediately after her wedding in June where as me who has been married earlier have not had any sign on morning sickness.

Mother in law has been pestering everyday but the most I can answer is just a smile. Both of us never say anything as I believe when god is granting its only a matter of time. Almost a year later I have a sign of late menses and morning sickness. I cant even smell Nescafe and had not touch it since the first three months. Part of first three months morning sickness I have no problem later and process carrying the baby is normal.

I wasn’t a person who loves rice very much. Im more into bread and can take 2 loaf a day with half boiled egg. In between time I munch a biscuit with Milo. I got no intention of getting those things rarely or feeling badly nauseated. All in all I was ok.

Everything was ok until the date im supposed to deliver. It was 24^th September at about 1am suddenly I wake up sweating with cold sweats and my stomach having like a period pain and muscle cramps. According to the book I read it should be contractions pain that im getting. The pain is long but at about 5 to 10 mins interval. I cant hold the pain and its getting worst and worst. I woke my husband up and told him it must be the time.

I felt that something is coming but Im not sure. I feel like going to the bathroom and wee wee where I found blood stain. I wake my mom and without hesitation she pack everything and ask my hubby to take me to hospital.

I was referred to labour room and confirmed having an opening of 2 cm. The midwife is telling me I have to wait for it to be dilate fully to 10cm.

While waiting I’m struggling with the contractions pain at shorter interval. To forget the pain I’m having I recite anything that I can remember and comes to mind but no the pain is there till I feel like pushing something out from my womb. I was checked every now and then and was pushed to labour room and waiting in agony for the baby to come to the world.

Pain of labour which I cant describe here and pain of waiting is even worst. I just want it to get over fast. Oh dear god help me. Dear husband did I say anything wrong that I have not ask for forgiveness, oh mom did I do anything wrong that make you angry with me, dear dad did I ever ignore your words that makes god test me with this pain for me to feel when I don’t follow you.

It was already almost dawn when the doctor said push harder lynn, push hard, the baby head is coming. More and harder. I was trying my very best to do when I was ask she said and was trying to get the baby comes sooner than anything else.

I was trying, until I feel something slipping from me in a very slippery motion and I feel good about it. It was very wonderful feeling that I cant even explain how. And then I was feeling the needle in between my flesh and being sewn alive. Since the labour pain was greater the feeling being sewn was not as much unbearable.

The baby was so dark and full of fluid and liquid all over. They congratulate me n put the baby near to me and said it was baby girl. I am so happy and so tired. I hardly can open my eyelid and barely can hear anything anymore. I and the baby was push to a corner till a place is ready for me. By that time I was ready to doze off due to the tiredness and sleepiness.

She was named as Syafiqah Liyana and was breast feed by me for about a year. A first grandchild in my family and she was so cute with curly hair with two deep dimples. She was so sweet and adorable. She got her first teeth at 3 months and learn to walk at 7 months old. So my first one is not a twins.

I got my second one by accident when my first one is about a year plus. This one is even easier without morning sickness or nothing. I craved for durian everyday even for a slice a day. I don’t have much problems and was actually wanted to go back for Raya Qurban in 1995 when I consulted my doctor whether it is safe for me to travel. He gave me a green light and told me I can.

Off we go back to Melaka and there I was after eating rendang and ketupat, I feel uneasy. I pace throughout the house up and down the staircase. I did not tell anyone what I feel, how I feel and why im feeling that blues. What I did was just pacing up and down, walking, circling the house. My aunt sense my movement and saw my face mimics was not like usual. Are you having labour pain? She asked. I nodded and keep walking and pacing around.

“Hey this is Melaka, and the hospital is very far, moreover this festive season. There isn’t any midwife around to help should you having problem with labour. If you are in pain lets go to hospital which is about and hour or two driving location”. I ignored them and nodded still. I hate hospital, I hate the environment but I am actually having a slight pain at the back and my stomach is giving me signal. Suddenly I feel like going to the bathroom, and my aunt warn me. “I don’t think you are having the urge to go bathroom, you are going to have a baby” she said…

I look at her, ‘I think I am’. Lets go hospital now and start from there they start panicking and packing. I was so composed. It wasn’t much pain tho but once a while it does bothered me. Ughhh I hate this actually to go for the routines checking my stomach, open up which I shouldn’t infront of them. Gggrrrr but this is about life and death, I’m carrying a baby, infact delivering a baby. Pain? No it wasn’t any pain. After checking and bursting my water back I was pushed to waiting room. They keep on coming and checking, pain yet? No! unbelievable there was no pain. Miracle baby eh? Hahahahhah after changing another bottles of drips im having slight pain and its started to mount more and more. They put the ECG thingy around my stomach to hear the sound of the heartbeat of the baby. I move left and right as the pain is unbearable now. They pushed me into the labour room and start the process of labouring.

While pushing at the final stage I was asked to stop in the middle due to some problems. I asked why? The baby cord is actually around the baby’s neck. After a cut they ask me to push once again and the baby is crying upon knowing she is now out from the mothers womb. She was big weighing about 3.4kgs.

Sore, tired and pain when I was pushed to a room for resting. Within the morning takbir of Eidul Adha my Syafiqah Shahira was born to life. She was pretty, chubby, brilliant, and most of all at the age of 8 she already khatam quranul qarim.

After 3 years I was detected to conceive my third baby. After 4 months pregnant only I visited my doctor for the monthly check up. According to him my baby is big for the usual months I should be. Weighing slightly over, he makes me worried that the baby is big and to be careful with my eating habit accordingly. Next month he confirmed it that my tummy was big and he performed scanning to check. He surprised us with a news there is two heart beating and visible. Huh???? We were shocked, surprised and puzzled. How could it be? He went through the machine slowly and thoroughly plus giving us a letter to go for specialist to confirmed what he seen. He was happy if this is true, this would be the first twins baby he ever detected in his clinic.

We were happy but still don’t believe what we seen until we consult the specialist.

Doctor Ansar confirmed that we had females twins and congratulate us. Advising me to take care and look after my food. Since then every one was nice and happy to hear the joy of me having a twins. The pray has become truth that my wish has been granted to have a twins. God always listen to us should we ask him dearly and heart to heart.

I was having problem to sleep when the pregnancy touch eight months. I can barely walk fast, going up the stairs to my mom house, hardly sees my toe, and hardly can sleep at night. I can lay down at all be it on my back, left or right. One day I really cant stand it at all and I read somewhere pineapple can make the system work and can make delivery faster. I took one whole pineapple it was actually nice and tasty. Complications came when I feel the baby is stuck and not moving anywhere. It was pain and later in the evening a blood clog found on my panties.

Uneasiness is the keyword from here onwards. I visit the midwife next door and she confirmed it, it will be anytime soon. I packed and getting ready to hospital but I hate hospital. The hours of waiting and the smells of medicine. I get my husband to take me round around that place that area till I have the urge to go wee wee. Was it actually wee wee or ??? I suddenly have doubt. I cant decide, my husband said its best for me to go check in the hospital and there the process start again.

2 cm openings, water bag burst, ecg tested. For a few hours laying there I was then check in to my room before hours later I was pushed to labour room. Delivering twins is not like delivering the normal baby. The pain is double the energy is gone while pushing. I was too tired to push, I give up after many times of trying still there is no sign. I leave everything to the doctor for them to take care. I hardly can breathe anymore and they started it again dear lynn one more time and the baby head is coming. One final push my first twin is delivered 3.20am. And after much trouble and pushing for the second baby to come they decided to vacuum the baby. Half an hour later the second twin was born without a scream. They have to wait, they have to spank her but to make her cry and with that a pale cry was heard I was relieved. She was to tired n too long in the womb and she was almost dying of being suffocated in there. Alhamdullillah everything was over after that. NurEiman and NurAmani was borne on 26^th of August two days different from her first sister.

Another trauma in the patient bed where I forgot I was allergic to pain killer when I was offered to one. I took it and was whoosh straight asleep and when I wake up, I don’t look like me anymore. I was hold there for another night.

Everything went well and now twins is already 7 years old. Im glad I was blessed with four angels. For I read somewhere “perempuan yang baik adalah perempuan yang melahirkan banyak anak dan dapat memanjangkan zuriat umat Muhammad”. Even I am a single mother im sure I will be able to bring them up and be able to give them love and take care of them.

To those woman who are not with one, perhaps you are special for other reasons. And you will be granted more specialties if not for having a child. Woman are full of specialties, full of love from heaven.

Date released : 061105 (6.49pm)
Currently watching: Black Maria di petang 3 hari raya
Mood: Tired with asthma attack for 3 days