Passionate Hand/ Love

Current mood: confused
Category: Romance and Relationships

Penna: Lynna
Released: 140406
Mood: Unsure

The craving needs and wanting to remember someone is so unbearable lately. Different persons that really affects my emotion and feelings. Emotion??? Feelings??? Merely because of the person itself having similarity in giving affection and showing it.
Keep on thinking of the lovely hand brushing my hair off my face. Cant forget the gazing eyes while the hands lovingly caressing my face, eyes, nose, my lips with deep meaning. Yes, I really missed those time. It doesnt mean those action will lead to something intimate. No it never does. He affect me with his love that way and with that Ill come closer to him and snuggle to his chest letting him embracing me in his warmth body and let him wrapped me in his arms.
Feeling close, comfortable, secure and loved. Having to just let the time passed without saying nothing. Calming and so peaceful. Can only hear a heartbeat, while the loving hand cares my hair and back slowly and lovingly.
Yes he affected me with his passion. Very passionate lover and passionate friend which has gone away taken with time thats not suiting me.
Can still remember his word saying the person who gets you will be very lucky. As my eyes set on him quizzically asking why would that be?. You are very passionate he said. But to me he is the passionate person. Of all the friends I have, he had affect me with that, his words, his eyes, his smile, way and word of wisdom. My comfort feeling to be with him because he dont have intention towards me, although he have said I may not love you but I sayang you one night after a long discussion of a matter of lifestands. I dont know what does that means but that secure words amused me.
With that I hold that bondage till today even when he has gone without saying goodbye. I have love his way because he has no feelings towards me that dont make me feel tied to him, which makes me feels so comfortable coming to him without having feelings and bond to him in anyway. I can come to him as and when I need him to be my friend or need him to touch me lovingly. I feel safe that way, very very safe in a way I dont have heart feeling but being touch of solely by his affection only.
The way he touch, the way he look, the way he smile, the way he talks, so slow and melodramatically. Why of a sudden I missed those? Why of all the affection I had from everyone cant beat all those affection he gave although I am showered with love especially when I am sick.
Z affects me with his way being demanding, commanding. The way of showing his love does affect me. Tho he was hard and rough but his affection mellow me. The bondage of love holds me to him. Letting him go because of other person was a mistake but letting him to find himself within his long lost love will make him happy.
But I cant help myself remembering the loving hands which no others can beat this two person. Whom one has affected with his love and one affecting with his loving touch.
Why passionate lover? Whats wrong with whom who love me without passion but just emotions? Whom said I love you many times in a day, he with his emotions and hardly show his passion and affection. Only his eyes gaze in me deeply. I love those eyes, I love the way he pick up my call or when he call me, first thing I will hear hi sayang. He will never argue with me but explain why he did it. Its difficult to get his eyes set on mine but once he did it my heart ache for his touch and embrace. He will not do it as and when. He will make me yearn and long for it. He makes me feel wanted and love. Whats wrong with me?
It would not be the same. Passion is so different with emotions. Passion is a way of expressing with touch and bondage. While emotions needs words to say it out to express the feelings. The way of touching is good enough to show the affection and sign of love.
Yes I crave for that. I do touch in my very own way. Way of expressing my feelings. Way of me touching and hold his hand, while my fingers trail his arms, caressing his fingers, kissing his cheek, his neck or touching his back. He doesnt like it, he doesnt like to show it off while I loved to. The conflict of expressing my way and his way often lead me to sulk.
But that is what I should accept because I cant expect him to be like those persons who had left. Was it right to missed that feeling. I dont know.
Dear blog this is what I feel, this is what I want, this is what I need. Capture my memories, capture my emotions, capture my passion, capture my compassion so that I can read and remember always. And to you abang I will always be myself when it comes to love you and express myself to you. I cant change my way because that is what I love to do. I loved to being love that way, I crave for that loving hand again. I loved to love and be love. Sometimes words is just aint enough.
To the owner of the loving hands who read this, the credit goes to you. To you abang, I will be as you know who I am. I know your way and know my ways. It may be different but it is the way to complete the necessity. To be par with you guess Im not in the position to do it, Im going to patch the gap between us so theres no loophole that makes us ugly.
I just want to complete what is not enough with my life and I just want to complete whats missing in yours. To compete with anyone, thats no big deal to me because I have no one to compete, not even her, your half.
Love me just the way you do, is all I want, in return ill pray to god to keep us tangle and keep you in good shape and stronger than anyone else.

9.55pm