While he was quiet but making up story and the other person make it hot and raunchy. I was just smiling to see it when it came. Do I really need to explain?
Read some blogs today which really catch my attention to laugh and reflects. Really feels that, I guess that the moment I waited will come sooner than expected.
While I smile, I still think of the sad days. Was I having bitter memories besides having it with my ex? I guess not. They are monitoring and assuming n making assumption. There will be two reason and person who made me cry. But then mom now feels better after my last word two months ago.
As for ex hb since raya I went and see him few times for kids matter and gave my ultimatum. And raya has taken it tolls on me finally when I took the opportunity to really visit those I wanted to, long ago. Perhaps two weeks time a second move would take place. I told my gf abt the mail I receive. Well I forgot again that I shouldn’t trust anyone on this, not anymore. But then well its has been blurt out. So I called my confidante and ask about betrayal. He said ‘Brutus once said “it is not that I love Caesar less but I love Rome more” and they went and kill Caesar. Think and u’ll see what I mean’. I make and effort calling him to make it clear, and so he did and well enough to weigh and measure every face, pride and dignity.
So far he has never gotten me to make a choice. Never! he gave example, reasoning and the rest I think and decide. He never ask me to make decision favouring to his advice. “Just be yourself and do what you have to do” that’s it.
There was a lot of comments on my blogs but its not abt the story but them talking about themselves there. Which makes me laugh. And dot-dot now did not subscribe but read and commenting.
This live drama shows the true colours of people. And I don’t have to be hypocrite to go away but yet I still want to read. Yes, I admit, I like to read what they say, what is in their mind. Like some people run away from being friends but still do read and monitor what I do, write and comments. Ohhh I forgot that’s how clever people did. Being coward and claimed how happy they are now. Im glad they are happy.
I was asking myself about those things happen to me. Should one day the truth prevails, how would I face it? Firstly, I don’t want to see Zahar and his mirror at all again if possible, but im still thinking of claiming those belongs to me that worth more than thousands. Secondly, should I bumped into Roslinah and her mirror image what would be my first word. Should I meet his parents what will I say. The evil me is telling me to slashed them pieces by pieces but the only me is saying god knows better what to do with them. I’ll just smile and let them feel the smile, let them have the taste of life the way they like.
“Yang haq pasti akan mengatasi yang bathil”. I remember that always. Doa mereka yang teraniaya pasti makbul insyaallah. But no, not yet since that very day, I have not asked for that thing to happen. For I know, if I ask HE will grant me. No, I will leave it to him. I remember his wife left Malaysia less than a year after spitting all those words from her lips to me. What did I do to deserve those? To feed him and his kid, to look after his welfare and wellbeing? That was a day before raya.
The next day after people performing solat raya me with all my heart throwing all myself and soul to HIM asking him should I be wrong to her and her whole family show me the MERCY and show me the truth. Eight months from there she packed her things and go leaving him in agony and pain.And later when I leave all the answer to HIM and he showed me in few path, I packed all my things and set it all free. Now the moment of truth are here again. To reveal or not, its all depends on me and nature will take it course.
All I want now is patience to be with me as always, with sensibility and sensitivity. Let one fall but not to let the whole nation feel it. Very good reasoning. Changing doesn’t mean to forget the good quality of being a person. Throw away hatred, anger and jealousy there I find the beauty of being a person.
Was I loosing my sanity? Whenever I turn around theres people smiling and theres my angel waiting for me. I was never like I was before. Since I practice the mirror talking, asking what I want, who am I, where do I belong, where should I go, when I should move and how to achieve it. I am never the same person. I do feel, I do think, I do reflect but then the way I want to do it and the way I wanted to be. Thanks to friend who always listen and always there for me. I hear rom always says I am stubborn and some people say I am stupid, some one said I never learn but it never makes me hate them because they have express the way they feel about me. And I take it openly, perhaps that’s what I am.. I am not here to pleased everyone neither to make you scared or insecure of your current situation.
I don’t have to tell all about me, I don’t have to follow your suit but I will listen and welcome comments and advice. Life is not just about what I want. Its about what all of you want for yourself too. Will I stop from being me.. will I change to please people around.. will I make a move from my current job.. will I.. will I.. will i? I will when the time comes.. I will when the path is there for me...
Date released: 021205
Quote of the day: Sempurnakanlah pekertiku seperti mana kau sempurnakan tubuhku…
Mood: Content
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