Released: 170506
Mood: Awake and Aware
16th May 2006 17th May 2006
Petikan dari pm box at 13.09pm
160506
It just got into my senses that segarang garang wanita, dia akan berlembut jika merasai yg dia tidak dianiaya selama husband dia ada org lain
so dear....2 choices for u....(1) hv both of them to go for counseling and see what happens (2) discreet marriage
Thoughts in between the day
Now I know why he is saying Im actually taking advantage over you. I was quiet hearing that statement and thinking at the same time. While he is in his deep thoughts along the journey back to KL.
It is very clear to me now why he said that. It was long planned. But again it happen because I allow it along the way. Without me knowing the real status, problem and situation. Yeah, it was confirmed that to me that he is actually playing with everyone with the game. But then it has got nothing to do with me because im just taking him as a passers by just like others, a fren indeed. Leave my den and dont come peeping or lurking, isnt that would be better for you without having pain.
My confidante called me this morning and keep telling me to be strong and dont think too much of what im facing. Its just a changing lane for me of having old age kekekkekeke I am old but not senile just as yet.
On the other hand
Two days was quiet without him to make me emotionally sensitive. Perhaps its much better to go on with life without special bondage attachment. 7 months without anyone around was so peaceful but when it come back lingering in my heart and thoughts it is too much to hold.
Anyway when im contented this way he became aggressively calling, and commanding me. Errkkkk. Commitment makes me pissed, so monogamous was really out of myself. Now I have to do my next plan how and manage myself with or without. What I dont need was just dont tell me what to do, tell me just tell me would do and I would think about it.
A boyfriend was pissed with me because he thought I could be a mediator but too bad for some reason it does not come out like what he thinks. I cant make other people to think like I do and wont be able to change myself to be others. All in all he said it was over and he doesnt know what was said to her and the situation at that time. I can be at any place level and situation but to make me be them, thats impossible. Everyone in this world has their own attitude and behaviour. For many times I was beaten by their words and make me swallowed and gulp for the poisonous words. Even my best fren did that only it was realized when it comes to her senses and she thinks rationally n not emotionally like when she shout at me there and then. At the end of the day, sorry was just what she can say. Forgiven yes but forgeting it is difficult. Though it is bitter but life has to go on and with that I make my move slowly and accordingly.
Im a fren who can listen and give my piece of mind accordingly to who I am and understand with my view. I respect every views and opinion. Whatever I can take I take, what every I dont want, I just put aside. Same goes to others take what you want and put aside what you dont need. I lead a simple life although its hard but I take it naturally. For those who still not satisfied, I couldnt care less. Why? I dont come to you in the first place, secondly verification made before meeting took place thirdly it is all up to you to decide for the choice is in you hand. Play your card well. Whatever it is now, I shall take mute action till im provoked.
Friends, i am still so in love with you with the treasure that i carried knowing you is the best and precious gift i had from HIM.
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