Hurt

Penna: Lynna
Released: 9.31am
Mood: Hurt :-(


"Sorry Sayang abang tertidur..." was his first words to bleed me....
Hurt....is what I'm feeling today after sooo many months....
The cuts are not the normal sadness I have when I feel stress and hated my work or the situation I am dealing with...
The hurts is more! Deep in my heart....
Love finally taken its toll from me... which I manage to avoid in so many chances obviously...
Its not his fault neither mine... Its situation, time and what else can i say??

I dont want to be hypocrite anymore like I always do in my previous relations be it with my husband or Z. I dont want to tell them how hurt I am but today I told him "when I accept you back, I am prepared of the consequences, and it is bound to happen more and more. I just have to be prepared of worst situation might come" He was quiet on the other end. I know he is feeling it too but I have to be honest if its not just to you, it is more for me. I want to be able to enjoy some of the feelings of hurt to be shared by us.... If you understand, GOOD then if not perhaps we might just have to think about it again.
It is not going to bother much of the daily life because I'm going to keep it going and going... I am not going to envelope myself with it. Soon I'll be alive again, sooon after this write ups is done, I'm gonna be the same old Lynna who is happy and bubbly again.
Its Friday, I'm looking forward to some excitement with my girlfriends... I know I can count them more than male does but hey they are still friends aren't they. Perhaps Kinchan will make me burst with loads of laughter with her kurus girlfriend who is fanatically dieting to death now.
Pu3 aku mengumpat kau depan-depan ni ... Hhahahahahahah
Friends, I need them just like I need my kids, but they arent around now. Thats add up my sadness and my missing part....

I miss you badly and I dunno how to deal with it...
I love you in my very own way...
I hate you because you took forgranted...
I hate myself because I'm too linient just to anyone....
But thats what life are all about...
Complaining???
Am i not now???
Thats me luv, thats me...
Take me for what I am....