Seconder....

Penna: Lynna
Released: 210306 (17.16pm)
Mood: Ouch!!!

"Sesungguhnya menjadi orang kedua didalam hidup seorang lelaki adalah amat istimewa apabila "sabar" itu sudah dimiliki sepenuhnya".

How would you define who you are to him, when you know who you are in the first place. "When the going gets tough and the tough gets going" once he told me.

Now I know why. To be in one shoe is already different and to be her was out of question. Be calm and think straight, I told myself. And so I understand how it feels to be in the first and second and him too. It’s all in the mind not emotions if one takes it practically. It’s not easy for him if both are too dominant whereby he can just walk away if none of them mellow.

On the other situation I told him this "You can nag, you can tell me what's not enough, what’s not right but you, you, yourself have to deal with it, with the situation. No matter what". Then comes the man with perfection of being individuals with strength, leadership, brave, strong bondage and full of love. "Would they exist?" was my question!!! Yet to be discover.

Contradicting or not I am for what I am. Sensible enough to understand and read every angle to sum up why he needed a seconder. And of course I know how the first will feel but I'm sure he has full reason why he goes out the milestone ahead to get the attention. As for the second was it really her fault to be found by him or was it her fate to be a second or was it because she just need to filled the space in between and as for him, it takes him to know his reason of why the extra miles was taken in order to fill, to refill or to cover. ;-) .

Heavy!!! indeed it is... theres so many men who have gone through this survey and who has answered to my survey "Why men need substitute". Tho its hard for them to express, sexpress or be devious about it but alas the full reason will be coming up soon on the next chapter.

So my summary is "its isn't all her fault (be it one or two) nor him but sometime it is fated". The ratio of a women now is 8:1. So dear wife "know where your problems is then you deal with it”. Rationalize it, indeed it is very difficult, the one you used to love now have to divide his love and attention to another for a reason I’m sure.

As for him know your problem first, deal with it, get your parents to understand you and then tell me what’s the verdict. Meantime, I take what comes. I remember once my male friend told me when I brought a subject of poligamy to him. "Be fair yes, but to the extend of his ability and her stands. I don't have much money if I were to spend fairly but I have lots of love to share". Yes he is willing to share his love, which money can't buy. Even Taxi driver are successful to worship two kingdoms and I salute that, while we know how much he earn. But his spirit and ability not to mention his courage to manage two different emotional creatures on earth is not an easy task. What more to mention when it comes to deal with WOMEN, phewwww am I not one.

With his braveness to go through the hurdles and bumps they are fine and managing it very well. Kudos to them!!!

When all this while we saw other women have to go through this path of life, weeping and shattered but do we get to know his point of view, seconder point of view. Most of us don’t. We judge them, we point at them, we talk about them, pinch them, hurting them but they go on living and prove what said are wrong about them. But I adore them they have strong courage and will power to go through, they are still walking chin up. Kudossss….

So seconder know where you are, understand why you are there in the first place to fill the gap, to patch up or to just being used (ouchhh) to his advantage to bring his wife back to the same as she is before…

Till then…