Current mood: 
curious
The thrill and threats having young husband….
When Muhammad proposed by Khadijah he was only 25 years and Khadijah was 45. While woman nowadays wont go and propose a man but our leaders wife is taking the opportunity in finding the quality of this young man for a challenge. For she has done a good choice of being with right person and right husband.
It takes whole conscience to be at that level knowing theres a lot of circumstances and obstacles. Religion, mind and soul are suppose to be ready to all circumstances that might face in the future.
There are many reasons why one should look at it gracefully. For a man it has to be very clearly open to the situation he going to. Marrying is not a one night stand affair where a lot of things should be considered in a long run.
Responsibilities, age factor has been visible reason. I have an aunt who married a man which 10 years older than her age. Seeing all the possibilities might comes all of us considered that as fate. And she takes that challenged. Till now they are still married happily with 3 kids.
But along the way, there so many things that are not click in due course of the gap. Thinking wise are not at the same level where one may be too advance and next may be not there yet.
I was one in the shoes whereby at times I may think further than he does. As it goes by, theres a lot of things that cant be achieved together. Tried to make someone called husband understand situation and matters accordingly but most of the time being chopped nicely with his harsh words makes me quiet the whole day then. Being as wife, we can say out our opinions and view as what we think we should. Most of the time he would say “being as wife you should listen to me not otherwise.” And so it drag on as days goes by.
Often infront of my eyes I’ve seen some wife scolding the young husband for not listening to what she says. My heart sunk seeing the situation whereby wife should be the other way round. May be my definition of husband and wife is different. Most of the time i find a way of being rational to my husband on communicating the message I need to deliver. And I think it is ok to be humble and soft so long the message reach him. It just need a patience and way to get it deliver.
But most of time I saw woman at certain age being stubborn and being in control having a young husband. It always itched me to tell them “please have mercy to respect your dear husband of your choice” should it be their choice. Again this is individual who allow themselves to be married to young guys.
Woman over forty usually will go through session of menopausal period where then young hubbies will be at the peak of life and then feel to be a man again like they was in their 20’s
What can woman at that age do? What does their young husband want at that point of time? Managing a man is not that difficult actually. They love to be pampered. More or so like a baby. Take care of their food, care for their clothing, care of their *ehem*, what else? They don’t ask for much as far as I’m concerned, so long all of those are taken care of. They love attention, they love to be praised, they just love the way you treat them like courting days. Well some may be just ignoring those because they might think after marrying all the qualities in them are gone.
But some forget why the qualities are gone? Often I heard man complaint where his wife is no longer hot, loving and caring after having a baby. Tiredness, not cooperative in doing household chores are the reason why there isn’t anymore intimacy between them. By the time all are done she is tired and no longer have appetite to do anything. Which I think is wrong.
I share a lot of things at home with him. I do cooking, he will do the washing, while I sweep the floor he bathe the kids, we do almost everything together. Tired? Yes both of us are, after the kids was put to bed then we patch up of those things happen day time. We talk, we cuddled while watching TV.
There is a say in one day you need to touch your spouse at least seven times in order to get the intimacy and bondage going. Which to us are more. Morning there is sure a kiss and hug before we are off to office. Lunch time we do it together with some friends at time and after office he came and pick me up. Once a while we would go for dinner just the two of us.
As long as you hold that bondage, he wont look for someone new. I believe in that. I never hold him from seeing anyone, I let him go with his friend should he need to watch footballs or play the game too. But he wont let me. That I don’t know why. He will let me go with my friends only if he knows that is my college friends the one he knows since we are courting during my college days. May be he knows I was well liked by many during those days but then the key words was trust.
Back to the topic, when Khadijah respect her very young husband very much and sacrifice all her wealth for his battle in Islam. She was loved by him till the very last day of her life and it takes long for him to replace her. So dear female don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to express your feelings over a man. Be it young or older the key in relationship is trust and respect. Without this two, no marriage nor relations will go through the hard and good way. Have heart to ask, its ok if he turns you down after all its only a guts or courage to get you there. Good luck to those in marriage and those who would try.
Date released: 06th October 05
Currently listening to: Apa Sebenarnya (Fauziah Latiff)
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